Far side of the Sea

Back at Hogar Infantil

2011-03-28T21:21:00.000-07:00

I'm finally back at Hogar Infantil after 8 months of craziness and transition. My mom has recovered from chemo and is in full remission. Caleb and I have lived with his folks, my folks, traveled to Italy, Monaco and France, were part of two weddings, bought land in the remote upper peninsula of Michigan, and I've worked as a waitress in our old college town. We've saved money, have become absolutely sure that we need a place of our own, and are making plans to build a cabin this summer. A part of all this planning and a constant in all this transition was the sure thing that I had to return to the kids at Hogar.

I quit my restaurant job, collected my donations for the kids and got ready to depart last Wednesday. Two days before my trip I came down with a miserable sickness, had a fever, the whole nine yards. I couldn't change my ticket without incurring a huge fee so I flew all doped up and hoping to make it to Cancun in one piece. I also had way too much luggage for one person to handle. By sheer willpower I made it to Playa del Carmen and then my friend's house in Akumal. My friend Mercedes happens to live in a cute little apartment right on the beach. The only thing that kept me going was thinking about relaxing in a lawn chair and staring at the Carribean, not moving.

I stayed with Mercedes and her boyfriend Miguel for nearly 5 days. I finally went to the doctor and was told I probably had some sort of bacterial infection like bronchitis and was given a pile of drugs. Mexican doctors I've found, really like to prescribe as much medicine as possible. All the medicine has to be taken at different times of day and for a different amount of days as well. Go figure.

I had to postpone my trip to Chiapas and the kids until Sunday rather than Friday. I was super bummed, knowing that I would miss that weekend with them. I finally boarded my bus Sunday night and traversed the windy, treacherous roads to southwestern Chiapas. 23ish hours later I was in Ocozocoautla de Espinosa, a little town that I'm so fond of now. A couple of boys from Hogar picked me up in the truck and I joyously rode in the truck-bed just content to look at my godson and smile. He is so tall now!

When I arrived I was greeted by lots of happy familiar faces and also lots of handsome new kids. I can't even begin to describe how content I feel just being here and how great it is to spend my days dishing out love and playing with kids. Today I had a very full day. I went into town and bought a bucket, which is a necessity when there's a water shortage and no guarantee you will have water from one day to the next. I spent the afternoon making bracelets with the girls and playing frisbee with the little boys. There are 22 little boys now. So, so many. They are all so handsome and have beautiful smiles. I gave out a lot of hugs today and kisses too. One little boy just clung to me and I could see in his eyes he was getting sad and thinking of his mom. Later, he was crying and I found out that today was his first full day here alone. His mother had left him here yesterday, and I'm sure she's been having a hard day as well. He was so heartbroken, it was hard for me not to cry also. Sometimes I can't help but think about the fact that I've had two miscarriages and want children so badly and here are a pile of kids with out mothers or whose mothers are far away and it just kills me. I want them all.

I'm happy to say that the little boys' house mom is still Tia Isabel - and she truly cares for them. 22 little boys is more than a handful but somehow she manages to keep them in line. She's my favorite caretaker here - there's a real maternal quality about her and wisdom.

I'm excited to have a whole day with my godson on Saturday. We have fun plans to play video games at the arcade (he's 15), eat fast food and see a movie. I told him eight months ago that I would love to treat him to a whole day of fun and I'm really glad that I can do that now.

That's all for now. Oh and I chased a really big cockroach out of my room today and only swore once, so I think I'm still pretty aclimated. :)

June, July, August, and September

2010-09-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

It's been over four months since I've posted. May was a hard month and some things happened that took me time to process and I wasn't ready to put it all into words. I needed privacy, time to think, time to process and know what to say.

The first thing that stopped my writing happened while I was still visiting Hogar. I had a conversation that changed the course of my involvement with Hogar as an organization. I had to take a step back, reevaluate, and plot a new course. It in no way affected my relationships with the children or my commitment to them - it was just a personal hurdle I had to work through and some hurt feelings. I'm wiser for it. It opened my eyes and taught me a lot and now I'm busy planning my new course of action.

The second thing is that my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I also found this out while I was at Hogar and didn't really know how to process it. Being thousands of miles away...worlds away even, yet I had all these emotions and fears coursing through me. And at the same time, I was emotionally and physically very involved with the activities at Hogar and dealing with a discontent husband who was lonely at home. It was just a lot to deal with and I didn't know how to write about it.

My mom's okay. She will be having her 4th chemo session on September 20th. She's stage one ovarian cancer, which is the lowest stage and they rarely ever catch it that quickly. She had a full hysterectomy in June and now is completing 6 sessions of chemo just to make sure they got it all. She's amazingly positive and strong and just overall grateful to God that the doctors caught it so soon. I on the other hand have been working through the knowledge of the mortality of my own mother and also the knowledge that this is a battle that I too may have to fight some day. See, my aunt had ovarian cancer too (survived) and my great aunt had breast cancer (also survived). So the chances of me getting it are pretty high and that scares me. I've never seen my mom sick, at least not that I remember. And now she's so vulnerable and little and bald. And it makes me weep. However, I know she will be okay - which is not a certainty that most chemo patients have. Stage one is really beatable. It's the best news one could get in the cancer world.

Caleb and I came back to the States in mid July. We came back so I could be with my mom and so that we could go up to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and spend time with his family as well. His dad is a master woodworker and Caleb's been excited to work with him on some projects. So we said our good-byes to Tulum, the bright blue sea, our dear friends, hot tropical weather, and our wonderful little apartment. We left Mexico.

And the transition wasn't easy. We were both sad to be leaving. The first day back to Michigan, my mom started to loose her hair and I went with her to buy a wig. Honestly, I was hoping to be in denial about the whole cancer thing for at least the first few days back, but that wasn't how it happened. It wasn't until I was in the infusion room five days after being back, and my mom had an allergic reaction to the chemo, that it really hit me and I couldn't stop crying. I just felt so helpless and it's horrible to see your parent suffer like that. Parents raise us and take care of us when we are sick and when the role gets reversed it really shakes you up. They're not invincible, they can get hurt, and they need us to lean on sometimes. Later that week I shaved my mom's head and we both shed a few tears. You know what though? It was really good. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to have done it. It was painful but sweet to love my mom in that way. We laugh and find humor in it when we can, but we're not afraid to shed a few tears when all you can say is "this is pretty lousy, this sucks." One of my mom's nurses has a button that says, 'Cancer Sucks'. So true.

So now, I'm in the U.P. at Caleb's folk's house. I'm picking plums, painting dog houses, power washing the shop, cooking a lot, and going for mind clearing runs. It's very rural up here and so beautiful. I haven't been up here in the summer since our wedding seven years ago. I remember why we chose to got married here. The loose plan for the next few months is that we will be up in the U.P. until October when Caleb's sister gets married in West Virginia and then head to Chiapas, Mexico in November so that I can be closer to Hogar Infantil and the kids. Meanwhile I'm working on some ideas for projects with the kids for when I go back. I think about the children at Hogar daily, and I miss them so much.

That's the short version of the past few months and the ones to come. I do apologize for dropping off the face of the earth. Now that I'm in a better place, I'm looking forward to once again posting regularly.

Contemplations...

2010-05-31T12:17:00.000-07:00

I have moments here where I wonder what I'm doing, whether I'm needed, and if I'm contributing enough. This weekend reminded me of how I do contribute and what the children need from me.

I am the oldest volunteer here by nearly 10 years. This, I think is a good thing. I believe I have a perspective on life and children (having nannied, etc.) that the other volunteers are still developing. The bit of training I have in abuse counseling and domestic abuse prevention definitely help as well. There are moments that I have with the children that are so sincere and vulnerable that I play the parenting role more than the playmate role. For example, I saw one of the 10 year old boys hit the little six year old boy, Octavio the other day when they were playing soccer. Octavio gets beat on a lot by the older ones, as he's the youngest, but he also gives it back. Having some idea of the abusive backgrounds that a lot of these kids come from, I know that frequently when one of these little guys hits another one out of anger or frustration, there is a lot more going on under the surface than is seen. When I saw the other boy, (lets call him Carlos), hit Octavio, I pulled them both aside and got down on my knees and talked to them.

"Carlos why did you hit Octavio?"
"Because I wanted to."
"It's not okay to hit him when you feel angry."
"I don't care."
"It hurts Octavio. When other kids hit you, it hurts you too doesn't it?"
"I don't care."
"Why did you hit Octavio?"
"He was bothering me."
"When someone is bothering you it's not okay to hit them. Use words. Tell him to stop bothering you."
"I liked hitting him."
"I want you to apologize."
"No."
"You can't play anymore football for now. I want you to come and sit with me for a while."
To Octavio, "I'm sorry he hit you, that's not ok. We're going to talk for a while now and you can go back and keep playing."
Sitting on the bench,
"Carlos, why do you feel so angry?"
Shrugs.
"It's not ok to hit when you feel angry. "Some day when you have a wife and a family you don't want to hit them when you get angry do you?"
Very quietly, "No."
"Has an adult ever hit you?"
Nods.
"I'm so sorry. That was wrong and was not your fault. It's never ok for an adult to hit a child. "
For the rest of the conversation, Carlos is quiet, occasionally sniffling.
"Carlos, the reason I'm telling you this is because I love you. I'm sure these feelings are very confusing to you. I hope you know that you can trust me and if you ever want to talk I would really like that. "
We sat together for about 15 minutes. Him watching the game, me with my arm around him. After a while, I thanked him for listening and told him he could go back and play, but he chose to sit on the bench with me for a while longer. His face was turned away from me and I wasn't sure how upset he was with me. I knew he was doing a lot of thinking and that he was really sad. After a while he joined the others. I was unsure if he would want me as far away as possible after that or if we had bonded. The next day he came and sat with me and we watched cartoons on my laptop.

This event and others similar even more personal, have been the true reason I want to keep coming back to Hogar. When the boys are disciplined they're told not to hit, but I'm not sure, at least in Carlos's case that they really understand why. I think it would be very confusing to see the adults around you (parents, caretakers) being abusive when angry, and perhaps being the victim of that abuse and then being told to respond differently when you get angry. I don't think Carlos had made the connection before with the abuse in his past and the way he was treating the boys around him. Also, I think it was important for me to let him know that I didn't just think he was bad and that I understood how confusing all these feelings must be for him. Many of these kids, if not all, could use counseling. I know that the kids having the most outward problems get counseling. If they are functioning decently then they don't. All the kids here have crazy stories. And the adults here do what they can with the few resources available to them.

When I'm here I do my best to love these kids, listen to them, play with them, teach them and at times to comfort them. As I've mentioned before, the kids here are amazingly resilient and wonderful. Hogar is a safe place for these kids, and I'm glad that this is a place where I can take them aside, sit on the bench with them and talk.

Fresh Jasmine and One on One Time

2010-05-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Sunday came bright and early. Kids were catching up on their Saturday chores and I literally felt hungover from exhaustion. However, Kyla and I pulled ourselves together and spent the day shopping in Coita and then preparing dinner for the boys. Dinner was a success, I think. I base that mainly on the fact that most of it was eaten and several guys came back for seconds. The other day I had one of the kids ask me when I'm going to cook again. That's a good sign. I really want to try and make something in the outdoor wood ovens, but having no experience with them and trying to cook pizza for about 60 kids could be more than I'm capable of. I've heard stories of others who've succeeded, but at this time I'm still contemplating.

I've had a lot of individual time with the kids this week. Paola and I climbed our tree again. We probably spent a couple hours in it just talking. The girls and I have painted nails, colored with oil pastels, chatted into the night, and have just hung out. I've been doing some homework help, and last night helped a little guy named Alexis with his multiplications tables. Alexis was nearly asleep on the floor the other night trying to finish his homework. And Felix (one of the German volunteers) spent a total of 6 hours over the course of two days with one of the 8 year old boys doing homework. Turns out the teacher thought he wasn't doing his homework, so she gave him extra. Unfortunately he just kept forgetting to turn it in.....I'm assuming he won't forget again after the mountain of work he's had to do this week!

I've been into town several times in the past few days. I wish I could show you how amazing the market is. Thing is, when I'm there, crowded under the tarps in the stalls, people pushing past me, women nursing their children, the smell of ripe fruit, flowers, and the earth in the air - I'm just not comfortable pulling out my camera and taking a picture. It feels voyeuristic and intrusive. I already get stared at when I'm there... the only gringa in Coita, when Kyla's not with me. But I have to tell you this market is fascinating. Every corner, every table is full of clothes, and pots, and raw chickens, and tomatoes, and plantains, and shops full of half cows hanging from hooks, and odorous shrimp being sold in baskets next to carts full of sweets and women with their babies wrapped in cloth around their backs. There are children everywhere, many working, several crying or playing. The market is full of sounds. People yelling out specials and cars honking and radios blasting reggeaton music. And there are thin, hungry dogs wandering around, frequently with teats hanging - scavenging among the decaying fruit and bits of tortillas in and around the street. There are bicitaxis (bicycle carts) ferrying women from the market back home, arms full of fresh flowers and produce. I bought my first bouquet of fresh jasmine the other day. It's aroma is intoxicating. I want to live in a bouquet of jasmine. I've been buying lychee fruit by the half kilo lately from a man who has them all arraigned on his cart like a prickly anime sculpture. They are sweet and delicious and bizarre looking.

Today is Friday. The secondary school kids looked great this morning in their nice clothes, rather then their usual uniforms (which are adorable by the way) because it was another celebration of the day of the students or something. I love seeing all the girls all dolled up and the guys looking snazzy with a whole lot of hair gel going on. This is such a culture of hair gel. I've seen various amazing styles of hair since I've been here...sculptures of sorts. Hogar goes through hair gel practically by the gallon. In the mornings everyone looks shiny and ready for school. The boys like to spike their hair up and the girls use it for a smooth, pulled back, pony tail.

The days are passing quickly and I never feel like I have enough hours in the day with the kids. Between their school, chores, various classes here and homework, it's hard to find time to really spend with them. I love weekends, especially Sundays, because there's just a lot more free time. My days still manage to be full though. I float around a lot, playing tag with the younger girls, reading to the little boys, hanging out in my room with the University girls, practicing English with the middle school boys....and providing movies on weekends. I wondered when I got back if they were more excited about the movies I had than that I was back! Ha. I understand though. I love movies too and I like being able to provide them with a treat.

I thing my best times so far have been times spent in one on one conversations with a couple of the kids here. One of the evenings I spent talking to a middle school boy about his very traumatic, violent past and was able to bring him a bit of comfort. I don't think I have ever seen someone cry as intensely - as though in physical pain from the emotional wounds. My heart breaks for these children and what they have endured. I listen, hug them, acknowledge their pain and do my best build them up and assure them that they are loved and that the past is not their fault. I am frustrated by my inadequate Spanish, but perhaps sometimes what they need most is someone who they can trust, that will listen. It has been rewarding deepening relationships my second visit here, building on the foundations from before. There are many differences in this world, but when it comes down to it - we all want to be loved.

Disco Dancing and Lagunas de Colon

2010-05-25T08:45:00.001-07:00

Oh, I have so much to tell!

On Friday night the girls got all gussied up for a high school dance (disco) that they had permission to attend. I was invited by Suleyma, on of the senior girls and was actually made a chaperon for the night. The girls looked great. The guys were invited too, but for some reason only a couple of older university age guys went, and I think it was mainly as chaperons too.

We drove the short way in the combi van and got dropped off about two buildings down from the slaughterhouse. Music was blaring, lights were flashing, there was a cover charge…it was pretty great. The aroma of fresh manure and strong cologne was in the air. They had a nice covered area and tables and decorations set up. The first few hours were a lot of standing around waiting for people to dance, then there was an announcement of awards won by the students. Suleyma won 'best personality" which was cute, she was really shy on stage when she thanked everyone for their support. Next to the stage was a big screen showing music videos from popular reggeaton artists. Really racy, raunchy stuff. For a part of Mexico that is so conservative, it was such a strange thing to see at a school function. I swear the videos were screaming sex. Anyway, the music was snappy and the dancing began, and I got to have a pile of fun with girls I hadn't really hung out with much before. Nothing scandalous happened on my watch as chaperon, unless you count the ridiculous ways the High School boys were dancing with us. It's funny going to events like these because I remember being in High School and being so self-conscious. Now it's just fun to support the kids and have a good time and be completely myself and not be intimidated in the least. Granted I shouldn't be because I could practically be their mother!

We didn't get back until our curfew at little after 1:00am. The girls were in great moods, all giggling and talking about boys and other girls outfits….the usual stuff. I didn't fall asleep until after 2am. I was up again at 3:15 because some of the girls decided to forgo sleep altogether and had hit some kind of giggle high. I dragged my body out of bed at 4:15am, because we were all piling on to the school bus at 5am for a day trip to Lagunas de Colon. It was a tired pile of kids on the bus that morning. I don't think we could have fit one more bag on the bus, let alone children. Most of the seats had 3 people in 2, and many kids sat in the aisle. Felix and Robin (the German volunteers) tried sleeping on the floor. There was a baby in the aisle in a little seat, and a couple of older kids at the front of the bus leaning on the dashboard or sitting on the steps. It took us about 6 1/2 hours to get to the lagunas (lakes). Much of the trip was through winding mountains and several of the kids got sick. It was quite the adventure. I've since checked the map to see where we went, and we were practically on the boarder of Guatemala.

The Lagunas were crystal clear pools of water - a series of connected lakes surrounded by tropical trees. The water was a beautiful blue, sweet and so refreshing. Most of the boys could swim, but many of the girls didn't know how, so us volunteers spent some time giving basic lessons. I am a water baby. I love swimming and it was the perfect day for it. So hot but with a slight breeze in the shade. The littlest kids played in a special shallow spot and were so cute in their underwear. The little girls had bathing suits, but the boys rocked their tighty whiteys and had a blast splashing around. All the other girls swam in clothes. Shorts and tank tops or tee shirts. In an effort to fit in I wore shorts and a tank top with my bikini underneath. It is not the easiest thing swimming in clothes, and it just feels so weird.

I thought I was already having as much fun as possible, when some of the kids asked me if I wanted to see the cascade or waterfall. That was not a hard decision, and soon we were winding our way barefoot, along paths past more little clear lakes, crossed a few streams and heard the sound of the falling water. It wasn't just one waterfall. It was a whole pile of waterfalls cascading down a rocky hill surrounded by lush trees. The water pored over little hidden caves and into deep, crystal clear pools and then into a larger river with an amazing rock for diving. It was a scene from a fantasy novel. Slipping and sliding over the smooth rocks I climbed my way up into the first of the little caves that had a waterfall at it's entrance. I've always wanted to be in a secret cave behind a waterfall. It was small, but there were stalagtites and another little waterfall on the inside. It was the prettiest thing looking out, seeing the green moss growing from the ceiling and the water poring over the opening. There was another cave to explore too, and I spent the next little while quite happily swimming in this fairy tale wonderland. The boys were jumping from the big rock at the bottom of the waterfall into the deep, cool water below. I'm not much of a diver, and I always have to plug my nose, but it just looked like too much fun to resist. Sure enough, I probably jumped from that rock 15 times over the course of the next few hours. I smacked my feet on rocks a few times, which really hurt, but not enough to make me not want to try again.

It was such an nice change to be on an excursion with the kids, having fun all day and seeing them laughing and playing. We have fun on the ranch too, but this was a whole day just for them. We packed up and headed out around 5:30pm for our bus ride back to Ocozocoautla. I shared two seats with two secondary school kids, Luis and Ruby. We were pretty snug, but I was just glad to not be sitting on the floor. Every one was so wiped out. Especially the girls who had barely slept the night before, me included. The trip home took nearly 8! hours this time. Apparently, Tio Audi who was driving was trying to take less curvy mountain roads for the kids and at the same time trying to avoid the unsafe highways where robberies frequently occur at night. I think we may have gotten lost a few times. By the time we pulled back into our ranch it was 1:15am and it was a pile of child-like little zombies that exited the bus. And I don't know how Tio Audi drove a huge bus for over 14 hours that day on narrow mountain roads, but he did. There were limbs that I couldn't feel. I fell into bed, hoping that Sunday would be a day of rest for everyone.

A Dinner Date with the Muchachas

2010-05-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

It has been crayon melting weather the past two days. I slept on the roof again on Wednesday night, though I woke up stiff and covered in dew. Last night I choose to sleep in my bed because there is indeed such a thing as being too old to sleep on the ground two nights in a row. My body just isn't as resilient any more.

We have a new little girl at Hogar. Her name is Josefina and she is 8 years old. Her first night here she was so shy. She clung to the director, Tia Arde, while she was introduced to the rest of the girls. Josefina has the same hair as me. Short and wavy. She's a scrawny, little, freckled thing, with the personality of a little sprite. The rest of the night she clung to me leading me around, shy to be alone with the other girls, but full of restless energy. I would imagine that the first night here is probably very hard. The girls were great though...they made her feel welcome and asked her questions, and Kristel, who is also 8, slept in the bed next to Josefina's so she wouldn't feel lonely her first night. One of the girls gave her a stuffed animal for her bed.

It took her ages to settle down for the night and I heared from the other girls that they didn't sleep very well. Josefina and I spent the morning together exploring the grounds, coloring, painting with Kyla, and running around. She is incredibly bright and very high energy. I'm not sure she has ever been to school, but she can read, understands math, and is eager to get into everything. 'No' seems to be a optional word for her. I don't know her full story, but I do know that she doesn't know where her mom or dad are. I think her mother abandoned her and some people took her in and helped her get accepted into Hogar. I'm so glad she is adjusting well and seem happy. The tias (aunts) who cook for us thought she was my daughter this morning because we have the same hair and she has a lighter skin tone. I thought that was pretty cute.

Other news...I climbed that fantastic tree again with Paola. This time we carried cement blocks over to it and made a ramshackle staircase filled in with branches. Paola made it up successfully her first attempt, but I fell - though I was laughing so hard it took me a while to notice my scrapes. We were in the tree again for about an hour. It really is a great place to escape to.

The past few days have been busy. I keep lending out my computer, mostly to the middle school boys for homework and email. I've been herding the sheep in the evenings with Luis, and I'm getting better at that. I actually got them into the shed last night with very little difficulty. There is a new baby sheep, so tiny and wobbly. Kyla and I named her Myrrh. I want to have a baby sheep as a pet. I've also spent quality time with a University girl named, America, doing Zumba, which has just been hilarious, and I've had a chance to have one on one time with Martha, a very sweet 10 year old girl who really misses her mom. There is always something to do here....especially with the little ones who have fewer chores and more free time.

Kyla and I have been gardening. The girls dorm has a nice space out front and just needs a few more plants and some major weeding to be lovely. Kyla manned the pick axe to break up the ground and pull up the crab grass and I navigated the spiders and biting ants and weeded around the plants. It felt good to see our progress. Yesterday we went to the market and successfully bought produce for 25 people. We thought it would be fun if we made dinner one night, so we planned the menu and ran around town yesterday and found everything we needed. We spent the afternoon cooking and made a really tasty pasta sauce with chorizo, basil, onions, garlic, olives, capers, thyme and tons of fresh tomatoes. We made a big green salad with avocados as well. I think the girls were a bit wary and confused by the food at first, especially since they didn't see any tortillas or beans, but it turned out to be a great success. We didn't have enough utensils, so many of the girls ate with their hands a la "Lady and the Tramp". It was very cute.

They don't eat many fresh fruist or vegetables here and it was really great to see them asking us for second helpings. Kyla and I played music and put flowers on the tables, and everyone lingered over dinner longer than usual and the conversation was cheerful and happy. Kyla and I did clean up duty too, and it was fulfilling to be able to feed the kids and give them night off from their chores. We are going to cook for the boys Sunday night, hopefully it will be just as well received.

Tonight I'm going to the high school dance with some of the girls. Kyla thinks it's funny I want to go. I bought a Latina disco worthy shirt the other day so I'm ready. I'm always up for fun and dancing, and it gives me the opportunity to spend some time outside of Hogar with the high school girls. I think it will be great. However, tomorrow morning at 5am, we are all piling into the big, blue school bus for a 5 hour trip to a waterfall. It sounds like a fantastic day and a lot of time in the bus. I think I'm going to be really, really exhausted because our curfew for the dance is at 1am. But, I'm really looking forward to a whole day away with the kids and seeing some more of Chiapas.

Chasing Sheep, Climbing Trees

2010-05-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I went to the older boys' soccer game and laughed as a heard of cows meandered down the path the team was taking their half time break on. Kyla picked cactus fruit and we spent the second half of the game picking tiny thorns from her fingers.

The past two days have been great. I've been trying to focus on spending a day with the girls, then a day with the boys. It's hard to get quality time with everyone, but that doesn't keep me from trying. On Monday I climbed trees with Paola and Luis, my dear friends (12 and 15, brother and sister), and we had such a great time. We climbed this enormous fairy tale tree at the far side of the corn field and sat high in it's branches feeling the wind in our hair and talking for over an hour. I can't believe we've never climbed that tree before. It's like an oasis or sanctuary, a safe place to go and just think and have time alone.

Monday night I put all the girls names in a bowl and randomly chose names for selecting clothes from the donations I brought. Much thanks to my friend Mercedes who gave me a ton of cute clothes before I left Tulum to donate to the girls. Each girl got to go through the clothes twice taking an item they wanted. It was an hour of giggling and fun and various stages of dress and undress and trying on clothes that weren't even close to the right size and needing teamwork to untangle each other. Afterward the girls were in good moods, still swapping clothes and lounging around in their dorms. I played tag with some of the littler girls and we raced around the cabana until we all were out of breath and exhausted from so much fun.

Yesterday I went into town with Kyla and had a much needed cup of coffee. I've gone through caffeine withdrawal again and my headaches are gone, but I just feel half awake for about the first 5 hours of the day! While in town I got workbooks and coloring books for the little boys to help make learning fun and be able to do some projects with them. That afternoon we all sat around a table outside and colored, and worked on numbers and some word games. I tried to teach them the song, "Head and Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" and I think their favorite part was watching me do it alone, making a fool of myself! Ha, I didn't mind, and I'm going to continue teaching them a little bit of English and I just know they will be singing along with me before long! After my time with the little ones, I helped some middle school boys with email and computer stuff. It's been fun to show them some basic computer things and I'm hoping to help them learn how to type. Kyla downloaded a typing program a few weeks ago, I just need to ask her which one and do a little research myself.

Luis and I hung out again. He helped me with my Spanish language workbook and I helped him chase sheep into their pen. Now that's a hilarious event. First of all chasing sheep is just fun. They 'baaaaah, and gallop and most of them head in the right direction. Getting them into the shed was a whole other thing. Sheep really are stupid creatures. I don't feel bad saying that, because I think they are wonderful, cute, and funny, but boy, getting them to go into their shed really was impossible. It's like crowd control with a crowd that just doesn't get it. They would move as one, but it was like a giant wiggly amoeba that we had to direct through a small door. I was standing in a pile of sheep poop, laughing so hard I was almost crying as sheep were bleating and confused and looking worried..... oh, my, I can't wait to help again today. By the way, we never did get them into their shed. Only into the pen.

Hugo, the dancing machine, borrowed my laptop to watch Micheal Jackson's "Live in Bucharest" DVD and learn new moves. On Saturday I saw him teaching a group of 7 girls a whole choreographed dance. I don't know if they will be performing it, but I sure hope so! It was great to see him teach too, he was so good with them and so confident. In the past couple of months he's grown even more confident in his performance, so that now he's dancing any chance he gets. So last night he danced for about 2 1/2 hours. I have him on video.

After finishing Avatar last night with the older kids, I headed back to my room where the first thing I did was trap a huge cockroach and return it to the great outdoors. Honestly, they are too big to kill. It would be like stepping on a mouse or something. I fell asleep reading my new book, " Helping Abused and Traumatized Children". So far my biggest help to them is just letting them know that they are important to me and that I love them and think they are special. I have a little girl date today with a nine year old who really misses her mom. She's been pretty sad these past few days and I promised her some one on one time today.

That about sums it up for now. I'm really glad to be back.

Back at Hogar Infantil

2010-05-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've updated everyone on the constant change that is my life. The past few weeks have seen me back in Michigan for my grandfather's surprise 80th birthday party and then a brief week with Caleb before another 21 hour trip to Hogar Infantil.

Now that I'm back in Chiapas, and life is bound to be full of crazy stories, I will be writing more frequently again. I apologize for the inconsistencies, however, sometimes it's just hard to find words to write.

I arrived Wednesday night, back at Hogar, very exhausted but excited to see the kids. I was swarmed by hugs and welcomed back very happily into the fold. This however feels like a very different trip. I am more aware of the workings of Hogar as an organization, and let's just say I'm not so naive anymore. This trip back is punctuated by the fact that I need to decide for sure if Caleb and I will move here in a few months. So I feel a bit of pressure. In some ways it feels like I never left Hogar. It's only been two months since I was here last, but it feels different now because I have changed. However, my favorite thing, which is spending quality time with the kids is still just as wonderful as before. As usual it's the difficulty of trying to balance my time with every one. I had a great time talking to the University age girls lounging in my room yesterday afternoon. It's been really good catching up with them. I read children's books donated by Caleb's sister, Michaela to the little boys who gathered around me like a little flock. I was pleased to see them reading to each other too, as Kyla and I have been trying to emphasize reading for fun, not just school and out of obligation. The day was wrapped up by watching a terribly pirated version of Iron Man 2 that one of the boy's had. Though it was pretty unwatchable and half the time we were guessing what what going on, the guys were thrilled to see Iron Man anyway.

The little boys' cabana renovation is going well. One of the older guys, Williams, has been putting a lot of time into working on it. Most of the boys have been working hard on making bricks for the walls and digging the trenches. In my naivety I thought that when I started this project, perhaps they would hire workers to do the renovations for the cabana. I didn't realize that the kids would be doing it, but that's how things work here. There is a Tio that is overseeing the project and frequently works with Williams. The expanded walls are up and the roof still needs to be installed, but for the most part the skeleton of the bigger, better bathrooms is up. I'm sure it will be finished this summer. Now if I can only raise the rest of the money for this project, all will be well!

Kyla and I have been sleeping on the roof of the girls cabana because it has been so hot. We look pretty ridiculous on our rolled blankets with our mosquito netting camping underneath the drying laundry. Also, my mosquito net is really just a piece of green, sheer fabric so I look like a genie or that I'm on safari or something. I don't know what the girls think. Probably that we are just ridiculous Americans. :)

Capi David, the president of the U.S. Board is here along with some visitors for a few days. I've made a point to spend some time with him, and pick his brain for more information about Hogar and pestered him with my fundraising ideas. He's been pretty good humored about it, which is good because I know I will continue having questions and ideas. Tomorrow there is a big board meeting with the Mexican board (patronato) and I'm going to ask permission to attend. Not to have a voice, just to observe. My Spanish is so sketchy that I don't really know how much I will understand, but I think it would be good to meet the members of the Mexican board.

By the way, since I've been writing this, I've been watching two boys chase a sheep around the pen, trying to catch it and it's been the funniest thing. The whole heard goes racing around the shed, two skinny boys running, sliding, flailing arms at the closest sheep, who has managed to evade them pretty well until now. However, she just got caught and I'm not sure what their plans are for her. I love the sound of the sheep bleating in the morning and the rooster crowing and the strange sound the birds make at night. The birds sound like an muted traffic jam with honking and screeching….

More tomorrow, for now I'm off to have some more fun.

Howdy Texas

2010-04-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

Big 'Ol Texas

2010-04-23T09:55:00.000-07:00

I've never really been to Texas before. Years ago Caleb and I took a month long trip around the U.S. and Canada and it took about 2 days just to get across Texas. We did spend a night in El Paso, but that's more Mexico than Texas in my opinion.

So, I got picked up at the Dallas airport by Capi (Captain David as the kids call him at Hogar) the president of the U.S. Board for Hogar Infantil. His bright and precocious 9 year old granddaughter, Cameron was in the back seat. I am happy to say that the first thing we did was drive to Fort Worth and go to Fred's, a popular burger joint. There's nothing like a cold local micro brew on draft with a big messy burger to make a girl feel welcome and break the ice. I watched Cameron hula-hoop to her soon to be step-dad's fantastic guitar playing and decided this was a part of Texas I could easily like. It was good people watching at Fred's too, though Capi made me get a picture taken with two Texans in their cowboy gear. I asked Capi if they were authentic or wearing costumes and though we agreed they were probably off work lawyers, he said they were pretty authentic. I guess boots and a hat are considered post work casual attire for white collar workers. Ha.

Capi's house is situated in this huge gated community that's also a pecan orchard. It's not unusual to see people driving their private planes up the driveway and into the hangers next to their house. Capi's a pilot too and said he can fly from his home to Hogar Infantil in Chiapas in about 7 hours. Impressive. He has two very cool little planes.

I was made to feel right at home, staying with Capi and Leslie and their two dogs Buddy and Maggie. The following morning, I took a nice long bath in their guest room's claw foot bathtub. I can't remember the last time I had a real bath. It may have been almost a year ago. I drank my coffee and read Harry Potter and fully relished the luxury of soaking in a tub. After that I had breakfast. Really my ideal breakfast. Fage greek yogurt, dark honey, Leslie's homemade granola, blueberries and raspberries. It's been over a year since I've had blueberries too, so they tasted like candy. I ate the same breakfast each day I was there and it was such a treat! I almost took a picture to post, but I didn't want to stop eating to go find my camera.

Most of the board members arrived on Friday. It was so nice to put faces to some of the people I had been in email correspondence with for the past several months. Katie and Johanna in particular were great to see. They are the volunteer coordinators and have been such an encouragement to me and Kyla. Johanna was one of the first female truck drivers years ago, when trucking was strictly a male dominated field. She loved the road. She loved traveling and being able to smoothly maneuver an 18 wheeler through rush hour traffic in Chicago. She loved how exciting and sometimes terrifying the job was. Johanna had to put up with a lot of harassment from her fellow truckers for years. She earned their respect by her wit and skill on the road. She is not someone to mess with. And she has a heart of gold. She's the Board's secretary and a firecracker.

Katie is married to a former graduate of Hogar Infantil. She fell in love with Neto while they both has staff positions at the ranch. It's a beautiful love story. Katie has such a passion for the kids at Hogar. She is a brave and sensitive woman who brings a lot of beauty to this world. Unbelievably, she actually brought 3 knitting projects to work on for the 2 1/2 days she was in Texas. She has mad skills and it was Katie who taught most of the kids to knit at Hogar. Her little daughter is currently undergoing treatment for leukemia. Even through this, Katie has found time to be actively involved with Hogar. She's on the Board and in charge of the newsletter, volunteer coordinating, and many other tasks as well. Her translation skills are indispensable. I only hope to be able to speak Spanish on her level some day!

The rest of the board (in total 7 people attending) were also quite the mix of interesting people. Some had been active with Hogar Infantil for the past 30 years. It was really good for me to get a better idea of Hogar's history and how the U.S. Board functions. Like many non-profits today it's struggling to make end meet, but it was very educational for me to see how problems were dealt with, new ideas were discussed and to learn about Hogar's general policies. I'm honored that they gave me a voice in their board meeting. I know that I was able to bring up topics that otherwise may not have been discussed and that I was able to give a fresh perspective on some things. I also tried to be a voice for the kids at Hogar. There had been several concerns on my mind, and I am pleased to say they were heard and taken seriously. I now have a much more complete sense of this organization and my possible role within it.

I had some great, insightful conversations outside of the meeting as well (one night until 3am!). I feel like a sponge, there is so much to catch up on and so much to learn. I do feel like I have a much more well-rounded picture of Hogar, not only from the kids' perspective, but also from the organization's standpoint. It's all rather complex and it has given me a lot to think about.

Thanks again to all who made this trip possible. It was an all around good experience. Texas was even kind of pretty with the wild flowers and cows every where. And I do like a good steak and cowboy boots with summer dresses...

Hogar Infantil Update

2010-04-10T13:14:00.000-07:00

As many of you have seen, I have a new Chipin widget on my blog. We raised $2,000 dollars in the last round thanks to many generous donations. That means we are nearly at the half-way mark of our goal of $4,500 dollars for the renovations of the boys dorm. I am excited to report that renovations are underway and now we just have to make sure to cover all of the cost!

I get frequent updates about life at Hogar from my friend and former roommate there, Kyla. She's holding down the fort, so to speak. I love hearing from her as it allows me to still feel connected to the daily goings on of the kids and the many adventures that seem to always take place there. Since I've been gone, (one month) there has been another wildfire, this time bigger and closer to the dorms, but at usual, it was contained with tremendous effort and motivation by the amazing kids with their buckets and teamwork. The timing of the fire was lucky in a way, because they had been without water for several weeks previous due to a broken water pump. It has since been replaced and things are back to normal.

One of the secondary kids that I hung out with a lot ran away the week after I left. The cause is a bit unclear and a guess at best. Something to do with a girlfriend and getting into trouble at school. One day he just went to school and never got back on the bus in the afternoon. It was taken very seriously by Hogar and a thorough search was conducted of all the possible places he could be. He's lived on the streets before in the city of Tuxtla, so I guess he has survival skills, but to me this is not that comforting. He still hasn't turned up yet, and I know sometimes things like this happen especially with kids with an automatic fight-or-flight response due to past hardships and life experiences. Please pray that he shows up soon. He could be selling fruit on the street in Tuxtla or hiding out with a friend somewhere....these are my best case scenario thoughts. I just keep hearing his voice saying , "No te vayas, Marci..." and thinking of him so sad at my going that he had tears in his eyes. He is such a sweetheart.

Kyla has been able to spend a lot of quality time with the kids. Last week was Spring break so most of the kids went home to relatives and friends. About 9 kids remained at Hogar, so Kyla was able to do all kinds of fun things with them and in general the time was much more laid back and relaxed then normal. The directors took the kids to a movie, swimming, to the beach and one day to a waterfall. I'm so glad to hear of all the fun that happens at Hogar too! I also correspond with several of the kids on a regular basis, so it's been good to hear from them that they are doing well.

I have news of my own. I have been invited to attend the annual U.S. board of directors meeting for Hogar in Texas this April 17th. I'm excited to be going as I feel like this is the next step in taking my commitment to Hogar to the next level and developing a even deeper understanding of the organization. I'm also glad to be fresh off the boat so to speak, having just returned from Hogar and my time with the kids. I hope to be a voice from the ground and represent the kids. So, I'm expecting to learn a lot at this meeting, develop relationships with the board members and hopefully contribute a bit. I'm really looking forward to meeting two of the board members, Katie and Johanna who have been incredibly helpful and supportive in the past several months. They are some amazing ladies...you think I have stories of Hogar....well these two have put their hearts into the organization for years and have even been housemothers for the kids in the past. I'm sure I can learn a lot from them! Not to mention they are hilarious so I'm sure we'll have lots of fun. :)

I also want to thank all of you that have made it possible for me to make this trip to the board meeting next week. Without your support and donations it wouldn't have happened and I take your faith in my contribution to Hogar seriously and humbly. Thanks for your encouraging emails and I promise to do my best and continue regular updates regarding Hogar Infantil and the kids.

2010-04-07T05:04:00.000-07:00

Michaela and I on our sunset dinner.

Abigail and I - children of the sun.

Michaela, Abigail, Dan and Caleb at Salsa.

2010-04-07T04:44:00.000-07:00

Caleb and Dan

Work as usual... geeks!

Felix and me after snorkeling.

Felix and Ben make dinner...yes that

is smoke, but it all turned out well.

A Long Overdue Update

2010-04-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of coming back from Hogar, getting a stomach amoeba, having five guests all at different times and just tonight, getting roped into a part time job.

Let me backtrack... After my time at Hogar, I ended up getting really sick my first week back in Tulum. I think some of it was due to the fact that I apparently food poisoned Caleb and I both the first night I cooked at home. However, the doctor said I had also contacted an amoeba while in Chiapas, so then I was on drugs for a week. This is becoming pretty normal for me by now!

Caleb's sisters Abigail and Michaela came to visit the following week and we had so much fun. We had breakfast atop the Coba ruins, went dancing until the wee hours of the night, soaked up lots of sun, snorkeled, feasted, and had lots of quality time. I am blessed to have sisters-in-law like these two.

Half-way through the week with the girls, Dan, Caleb's best bud, came and visited us from San Francisco. It was great to see Caleb and Dan relaxing together and laughing and having fun. Often they talk crazy schemes and work stuff over Skype. This week they could both sit at their Mac's and do the same thing, but in person. It was pretty cute. I think it was the first vacation Dan's ever had and the first one of Caleb's friends to visit us here. Next time Dan's bringing his wife Emily and little baby boy, Jack.

As soon as Dan left, Felix, a friend and fellow volunteer at Hogar Infantil and his buddy Ben, came and visited for four days. It was great to see them, such good natured, kind and considerate 19 year old German boys. They even made us dinner one night and were really excited to surprise us with it. I went snorkeling with them on a chilly, grey day, but we had a blast following a sea turtle and swimming among schools of fish.

Sunday was the first day Caleb and I have had just to ourselves in ages. We loved having guests, but it is so nice to have some quality time just the two of us again. It was Easter, and usually that means we go to church, have people over, I make a huge ham and a ton of side dishes.... but we stayed in our pj's half the day then wandered into town and had some tacos. We ended up at Elemental as usual and I had the best cucumber mint margarita in the world. We played cards and hung out with friends. It was a great laid back day.

Today, I helped Sabrina at Elemental watch her little boy, Nico and help a bit around the restaurant. They want me to help them out as much as I can and for now that means I will be there 3 days a week. Back into the restaurant biz....not something I've anticipated, but I'm always up for helping a friend out. Also, I'm working in trade for food credit, and they have great food, so Caleb and I will be well fed the next few weeks.

My Sweet

2010-03-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Caleb made chocolate chip cookies tonight. I love him.

We're still figuring our lives out. I'm feeling a little better now though because we at least have some options to mull over. Options that might work for both of us. They involve a lot of flying around and craziness, but now I feel more hopeful. The cool thing about being married for nearly 7 years and being best friends is that we really do want the best for each other. So we'll figure this thing out....

On another note, Caleb's sisters will be visiting this week and so will his best friend, Dan. I'm looking forward to the fun and the distraction they bring. I've talked to Kyla and the kids at Hogar twice on Skype since I've left a week ago. Kyla and I write every day and several of the kids write me too. There's a lot of personal stuff going on with a some of the kids right now and it's hard to be away. I'm so glad Kyla is there, holding down the fort, keeping me updated, and doling out love. So, to keep myself positively occupied and focused on the good things, I am happy to have family visiting and a husband who makes me cookies.

Discontent in Paradise

2010-03-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is possible to live near one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and be homesick for dusty dirt roads, beans and tortillas and most of all piles of wonderful kids. I miss Hogar Infantil so much that my life here in Tulum feel so self-gratifying and unfulfilling. I want to go back tomorrow, hop on a bus and travel those 18 hours just so I can see their faces again.

Caleb is understanding and patient. He knows I want to move to Ocozocoautla de Espinosa, but I think he's afraid if we do that, we'll never leave or have kids. He's concerned we'll loose our wanderlust and desire for adventure. The ability to up and move anywhere we want at a moment's notice. That he may have to sacrifice opportunities in his career for a life in rural Chiapas. He already feels isolated here. Ironically, this has been his most successful year yet in terms of recognition and galleries being interested in his work. We are torn between two worlds. One is full of things, and places, and opportunities. The other one is simple, smaller, and yet of deep value and impact. I guess it's a good problem to have so many options. So many places we could live, dear friends who would love us to be close again…career opportunities for Caleb….but my heart is in a little dusty town in Chiapas. I will go where my husband goes, but I would like to at least live in Coita for a year. What does that mean in terms of me being 31 and having children? I don't know. I still want kids. I want both. Am I willing to have a baby in Mexico? I don't know. Lot's of questions.

As of now my plan is to go back to Hogar in mid May. I do thank God that I have such a supportive husband. We have a lot of things to figure out, but we are trying to make it work for both of us. I probably shouldn't be so bummed out since I will be going back in two months, but my time there was so intense. I am still raising money for the boys' dorm at Hogar and will be putting together a presentation to use as a fundraising tool. I know that I will be involved in any way I can with Hogar for many years to come.

Last Day

2010-03-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

It's my last day here. Last night I didn't want to go to bed because I knew today would be a really hard day. I sat outside looking at the brilliant stars.

How amazing is it that I've even been able to come here? My heart is full of so many things.

I'm deeply sad to leave. I love these kids.

I've learned a lot since January. Not just Spanish, but about life and pain, and trust, and generosity, and reggaeton, and farm animals, and wild fires, and security and fear, and abuse and poverty and resilience and shame. I've also learned a lot about hope.

Last night I sat atop the water tower with five girls and Kyla, watching the sunset, eating candy and dancing. I looked down into the valley, at Hogar where I could just make out Caleb trying to fly homemade kites with the middle school boys. I felt deep contentment.

I am coming back in two or three months. I am promising to come back. Caleb and I are planing to be in Mexico for a while longer and he will do all he can to make it possible for me to visit often. I will continue the fundraising for the boys' cabana and hopefully help with future projects as well. It is truly amazing that I can have my childhood in Hungary, much of my adulthood in the U.S., and find my passion in Mexico. Life is so unpredictable and surprising. Hence the fact that the Bible verse for my life (and this blog) is Psalm 139:9-10, "If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide, Your right hand will hold me fast."

My Birthday

2010-03-10T07:58:00.000-08:00

My 31st birthday was on Saturday. The kids at Hogar made my day special from the moment I woke up. I snuggled with some of the younger girls who were playing with their stuffed animals in their beds. Then I said, 'good morning' to my 11 year old friend Paola. She wished me a Happy Birthday and gave me a little stuffed sheep off of her bed. I teared right up. It's not like these kids have piles of toys. Each toy is very meaningful to them and they treasure each one. I know what a sacrifice it is to give one up, and what generous hearts these kids have.

A little while later another girl came over and gave me her teddy bear. I was really touched, especially since she was the girl that didn't used to like me very much! She's warmed up and she even smiles at me and talks to me now. Yay.

When I got back to my room two older girls were waiting for me - one hiding in my bed (ha!). They sang "Happy Birthday" to me and gave me lots of hugs and kisses. My roommate Kyla wrote me the sweetest card it made me cry. After that two more little girls came in and gave me gifts of their own things…I seriously spent the first two hours of my Birthday surrounded by so much love, tearing up at the generosity of the girls, and getting piles of hugs. I learn from these kids. I am completely humbled by them.

At breakfast, once again hugs from many people. I know for a fact that they made a bigger deal out of my birthday than each other's. Sometimes I find out it was someone's birthday the day before and I feel so bad I didn't even know. For the most part here birthdays come and go and closer friends may acknowledge it, but the kids don't get special treatment on that day. There is one celebration a month (though sometimes it's forgotten, like February) for kids who have birthdays that month. Usually, it involves soda and cake or sweets of some kind and perhaps a bonfire or music blaring from the stereo.

Five of us have birthdays in March, so I helped organize a party for all of us for Saturday night. I ordered a huge (3kg - 6.6lbs) cake, chocolate tres leches with coffee cream frosting. It was insanely enormous.

Oh, before I get into telling you about the party, I have to mention that my favorite, Caleb, my husband, the most supportive husband in the world, traveled 18 hours by bus to be with me on my birthday. He's here for a week and will go back with me on Saturday to Tulum. It was so great to see him after 6 weeks apart. He looks like a giant here. It's hilarious - he get's stared at by every one, and the girls here have a crush on him. I have to say, he's pretty good looking. My heart went pitter-pat after being apart from him for so long.

It's also been really great for Caleb to see what I do here. My days are filled with loving and caring for these kids, trying to understand and be respectful toward the culture, the rules, and how things are done here, learning Spanish and sounding ridiculous, having art classes that are usually great fun and occasionally a flop, and just experiencing life here. I think I bring more fun to Hogar. I think that's been one of my greatest contributions. That and physical affection and words of affirmation. That's what I aim for.

That being said, Caleb and I bought soda and goody bags for the kids as well and we had more cake and treats, and sugar than we knew what to do with. The Tios had even provided ice cream and little sandwiches. Caleb had a playlist on his ipod of about 800 popular reggaeton, hip hop,and electronica songs, mostly artists that I told him the kids liked. It was a great party. Before we ate dinner, the five of us March babies, lined up in the front of the casa and every one sang the Mexican Birthday song to us. Then we got swarmed with hugs and I probably got 50 hugs. It was so amazing. Later that night I danced with the girls and Kyla gave us a lesson in the Macarena. The whole day was so special and I couldn't help but think about the fact that a year ago, living in Rhode Island, uncertain about our future, waiting for Caleb to finish grad school….I never could have imagined myself here. Yet here I am in Chiapas, Mexico, at a children's home, and my heart is so full. God is good.

The Boy's Cabana Project Update

2010-03-04T06:59:00.000-08:00

I recently got the estimate for not only redoing the boy's bathroom but their entire cabana. This project, which would be all internal renovation, would make their dorm feel new, and fresh, and allow for a much more intelligent use of their space. They would have 6 new flushing toilets, a completely new shower and sinks and bigger dorm rooms with built in closets. All of this only comes to $4,500 USD. The directors gave me a very detailed price list down to the exact amount of rebar and cement blocks they thought they would need and also the estimated cost of labor.

There are two ways in which you can donate. One is through my blog with a program called Chipin (similar to Paypal), and the other is directly to Hogar via their website (www.hogarinfantil.org). The money needs to be specifically labeled for this project if you give directly to Hogar. They are a U.S. non-profit and will be able to provide you with a reciept for your tax records.

I want to raise this money quickly so that construction can start and be finished before new boys arrive in the summer. Thank you for your donation. I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful these kids are and how much it will mean to them. Thank you!!

El Fuego

2010-03-02T15:08:00.001-08:00

I've Lost Count of the Days

2010-03-02T14:49:00.000-08:00

The day before yesterday was a hard day for me. I realized that I only have 2 1/2 more weeks here and it made me so deeply sad and emotional all day that I teared up if someone even looked at me funny. I broke down on video chat talking with Caleb. I just feel so deeply fulfilled here and I don't feel like my work is finished. It's all about relationships and how can that ever feel finished? When I leave, art classes end too (unless the next volunteer continues them, which she might) and mostly I'll just miss seeing these kids everyday. I fully plan on continuing to fundraise for Hogar and be involved in any way I can and I'm already hoping to come back in August for Quinceañera (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quinceañera). A huge pile of girls are coming of age (15) in August so they will have the traditional ceremony and party for all of them on one day. They get fancy dresses and it's a big deal. I really hope I can come back for it!
Yesterday. It was a cold, cold morning, so all of the youngest primary school kids stayed home and didn't go to school. I brought the children's books that we had bought in Tuxtla down to the dining hall and Kyla and I took turns reading to the kids for a couple of hours. They loved it. We had a big pile of little ones around us, on our laps, leaning against us, resting their chins on our shoulders to see the pictures while we read. We read until we could read no more. Even the University girls were coming and sitting down and reading the children's books aloud to themselves. I don't think they had many children's books growing up either. After that I had my conversational English class with Rafa and we talked about directions. Words like, neighborhood, block, street, avenue, on the corner of…, on the left…, after, before… Anyway, that was fun because we pretended he had a little green house in Brooklyn and I was trying to visit him but needed directions.
I washed some clothes after that because when the sun comes out that's what you do, and then I helped Sofia, the Swedish volunteer who's here a few times a week to set up a PayPal account. She wants to have a Chipin feature like I have on this blog to start collecting for the Hogar boy's dorm too. I'm glad she wants to help.
I played frizbe with three kids after lunch and we were having a great time until we saw everyone running in the direction of the director's house on the edge of the hill. We started running too, and I looked up at the mountain, at the water tank we climb frequently, and realized there was a fire. The littlest kids stayed in their cabanas, but everyone else grabbed buckets and headed up the hill. At this point let me interject and say that this is rural Mexico. The firefighters don't just show up within a few minutes of a fire. The people living in the vicinity of the fire, do what they can to put it out. There are no firefighters in this town. The police have some sort of water backpack that they can show up with for reinforcement. That said, we all ran up the mountain with our buckets and an assembly line started. Empty buckets were handed down into the water tank and refilled and passed person to person up the mountain where mostly the oldest boys were battling the fire. It was a lot of work, and the mountain is steep and covered in thorny plants. But can I say, how impressed I was at how well these kids worked together? It was a lot of work. We didn't want it to spread down the hill to Hogar, or take out the whole mountain. The boys were beating the fire with branches and wet tee-shirts and we were running up and down the hill sloshing buckets of water on ourselves trying to get them more water to douse the fire. We would put it out in one part and it would start in another. I think we were working for about an hour before it looked like it was all over. Everyone was filthy, but there was a sense of accomplishment and relief. I guess in the past six months there was a fire that burned the whole mountain, but because of hard work and hustle it didn't touch Hogar.
Now, when we descended the mountain, I saw that visitors had arrived at Hogar. Some people with the Anglican church, some possible donors, and woman that is going to be volunteering here. These were special guests that we'd been preparing for all day and had a special dinner planned for them after Mass. I found it kind of humorous that their first impression of Hogar was the kids fighting a wild fire on the mountain. That was probably pretty surprising. The work ethic here is amazing. The kids went right back to their chores where they had left off - even the boys making bricks, just continued their manual labor after expending a huge amount of energy putting out the fire.
We hurried and got cleaned up for Mass, and crowded into the chapel pews all wet and clean. Our special dinner afterward was a real treat. We ate in the courtyard area of the main building and all the tables had white table cloths. We were actually served dinner and our styrofoam plates had about eight different fun foods on it. We had little chirozo sausages, refried beans, pulled pork, a shrimp salad, oaxaca cheese, a hotdog salad, a breaded and fried stuffed jalapeno, and peanuts. Oh and tortilla chips to eat it all with. I missed tortillas with my meal - it just felt weird not eating tortillas and so did one of the boys, so he went to the kitchen and got us a pile to share.
We hung out with the kids after dinner, just chatting. Kyla and I were privileged to hear one of the kid's stories of how he came to be at Hogar. My heart aches just remembering it. Many of the children here have similar stories of abuse and abandonment. I'm realizing that they don't share they're pasts with each other for fear that it will be used against them. So many kids here just deals with it on their own. Kyla and I are safe for kids to share their stories with. It's an honor to listen to them, cry with them and let them know how special they are and that the past is not their fault. I want to magically make the pain in their hearts go away, but I know that I don't have that power. I can listen and I hold their stories close to my heart and hold them and love them.
What a day.

Days 26-27

2010-03-02T12:15:00.000-08:00

On Monday Kyla and I went to Tuxtla, the big city about 45 minutes from here, to buy books and boardgames for the kids. I had never been to Tuxtla before, other than when I arrived at the bus station. This is a big, bustling city of about half a million people. It is the capital of the state of Chiapas.

We took the bus, which was very easy and cheap. Not entirely sure where to get off, I saw the sign for the Chedraui ( a big Mexican superstore) and knew we might find boardgames there. We got off the bus and found ourselves walking into a little America. Liverpool is a mall with expensive stores in it, coffee shops, and at one end the Chedraui. We bought Yatzee and Trouble at the store, along with a pair of long white dress socks for Hugo (because he wants to be Michael Jackson) and some bread, repeat BREAD for a snack. The bread is a real treat since we eat tortillas three times a day. Don't get me wrong, I love tortillas and am happy to eat them with every meal. It's just that Kyla and I are both bread girls at heart. And this bread was herb bread and olive bread. We literally tore into it as soon as we got out of the store. We found a table and had a picnic. Cheese from Oaxaca and our bread. The two of us ate two whole loaves - they were small loaves, but still!

We found a bookstore and sat on the floor and looked through all the children's books. We only ended up buying about 7, but I figure that's a good start and they are just for the younger kids. Both Kyla and I have really been wanting to read to them, but there just aren't a lot of Spanish language children's story books around Hogar. Hopefully, we can continue to add to their library on progressive trips.

On a whim we hopped a packed colectivo (public transport minivan) headed toward what we hoped was the center of town. The colectivo was full of high school kids who thought we were pretty ridiculous, two confused gringas with their bags and no idea where they're going. We kept getting amused looks. Colecitvos are great ways to see towns because they go everywhere and frequently through neighborhoods. We got a little tour of Tuxtla and eventually were in a part of town that was all little stores and bustling outdoor markets. We got off the bus and started to wander around. It was a really hot day, but beautiful and every one was out and about. Tuxtla is a busy place. There were stores selling every container imaginable, and paper goods and clothes, and bakeries and meat and live birds and electronics. Open meat stalls had huge slabs of beef sitting on the counter, strips of meat hanging from rafters and yellowed chicken ready to be sold. Which reminds me….the other day in Coita I saw an entire cow head, skinned except for its soft nose and eyelids sitting on a butcher's counter. That was fascinating and bizarre. I'm sorry I don't have a picture of that! Anyway, in Tuxtla there are people selling buckets of mangoes and guayas and green mangoes for 10 pesos a pile. That's about .80 cents for 5 big mangoes. Needless to say I stocked up on fruit for the week.

We found a great little restaurant for lunch. It's a popular lunch spot for all types of tacos; tripe, pork, beef, smoked fat, and al pastor (a type of bbq). The cook was cooking up a storm in a cart in the front and we took a little table with a big plate of radishes right behind him. A knife sharpener was out front peddling away on something that looked like a stationary bike and sharpening all the chef knives. Our tacos were great, though we accidentally got one with the smoked fat…that just reminded me of growing up in Hungary. Fat in all forms is a pretty popular thing there. The proprietress of the restaurant was really happy that we ate there and we walked out promising ourselves that next time in Tuxtla we would try to find this place again for a tasty lunch.

We easily found our bus back to Coita and made it back to Hogar by 4pm. I had just enough time to take a shower and prepare for my art class at 6pm. We made puppets out of paper bags I found in Tuxtla. We used the multi-colored pom palms I had bought in the States for eyes and noses and the puppets turned out silly and great.

After dinner I had rented a movie for the older girls, "27 Dresses". It was really fun sitting around on the sofas in the girls dorm watching a chick flick and eating snacks. I'm so glad I brought my laptop because besides the obvious use of writing on this blog and doing email, etc. I've been able to show movies on it if I borrow speakers from one of the boys. So far we've watched "Slumdog Millionare", "A Night at the Museum", and "27 Dresses". I'm thinking about buying "Where the Wild Things Are" from the video store for the kids. Don't ask me how that's available on DVD here already and it only costs 25 pesos and comes in a white unlabeled sleeve… I think the primary school kids would love it.

Yesterday was a weird day that just flew buy and I felt like I had a million things to do and only got about 3 of them done. All's well. The news of the day is that the main director of Hogar, the director of the U.S. non-profit in the States, Captain David, as he is called here, arrived for a visit. There was a lot of hustle and bustle to get ready for him and everything in tip top shape. He and his wife are well loved by the kids and it was great seeing the little ones running up to him for hugs and all the kids really happy to see him. He has been involved with Hogar since the 1970's. It was a very different place back then. He's made a lot of positive changes. I'm excited to talk to him, hear his stories, and learn more about Hogar. I'm really looking forward to discussing with him how I can be of more help to Hogar, not just short term with the fundraising for the boys' cabana, but hopefully long term as well. I've found my passion here and I know that my involvement will be lifelong in some way shape or form.

Problems on Blogger

2010-02-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to post for the past 3 days but have had problems on blogger. I have lots and lots to catch you up on and am hoping the problem is sorted out quickly. Thanks for checking back!

Days 22-25

2010-02-22T06:23:00.000-08:00

I apologize for not posting for several days. The days are full and I've gotten off my writing schedule.

My art class on Friday was a huge success. The kids made monsters out of paper. Even the littlest boys spent the full hour working on their project and every single monster looks terrific! The kids were really creative and they are really good with scissors. I felt so proud of them!

Yesterday was a special treat. A wonderful group of people from a local company hired a clown complete with a full performance for the kids. They also provided tamales and a pastry and candy for everyone. Of course the clown chose yours truly from the audience for one of his tricks. Thank goodness I understood everything he said and his instructions! It's funny how embarrassed I was standing up in front of everyone. Mexican clowns kind of freak me out. Actually most clowns do, but Mexican clowns look like they originally started out as mimes and switched halfway through. They have bright white makeup and florescent colors. It's totally crazy. However, for the kids this was great and they spent the morning laughing and getting treats. The company that so graciously provided the entertainment and food also donated a bunch of provisions (laundry soap, toilet paper, shampoo, etc). I love seeing how much people care for these kids, how involved the community is and how needs are continuously met.

I've spent a lot of time lately making friendship bracelets with the kids. Kyla had the great idea to show them how to make bracelets as there's a lot of colorful thread in the supply room. I'm sure someone in the past did this with the kids too, since it was familiar to a few of them. We've spent a lot of time sitting around, chatting, trading bracelets. It's been an especially nice way to spend time with the younger girls. They also love it when I bring out the nail polish and we all paint our nails. The other day, 8 year old Kristel painted my nails green with pink polk-a-dots. :)

Last night I took one of the sweet sleeping triplets up to bed and noticed that all their beds had sheets and were made up all nice for them. My friend, Johanna the secretary and a girl named Ameryka have been taking care of the boys the past few days and have done an outstanding job. It is an incredible amount of work to keep their cabana clean and to wash all the little boys clothes constantly and to make sure all the boys do their homework, are ready for school, have their uniforms and hair gelled and generally speaking maintain order. I very happily tucked little buddy into his clean bed and planted a kiss on his forehead.

I've been thinking about the kids here as one big extended family even more so since viewing William's photos. He had photos going back the last 8 years or so to when he first came to Hogar. Seeing a lot of familiar, but younger faces in his photos made me really realize that these kids grow up together and are each other's family. The older ones look out for the little ones, people tease each other, play together, work through problems, see each other through tough times, celebrate birthdays together. They're together for most of their childhood. This is a pretty amazing thing. A really big extended family. When I see the older boys putting their arm around the little ones and chatting with them it about melts my heart. Same with the older girls holding children on their laps and helping with homework. There's a lot of love here.

Day 20 + 21

2010-02-18T09:44:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning I spent with the little kids making carnaval masks and hats. As usual it was a tornado of activity and everyone dove into things before they even knew what the project was. I wanted to bring some of the festival to the littlest members of Hogar, because they hadn't been able to see any of it and I knew they felt left out. The project turned out great - some even made themselves capes out of tissue paper and paraded around in their costumes. I'm sure there is little of it left now, but for a while, they had such a blast. I was genuinely impressed with how great everything looked. The little boys especially enjoyed this one as it gave them the opportunity to look fierce and play fight.

Kyla and I had heard there was to be a dance at 2pm, so we, along with one of the German volunteers, Robin, walked into town. There did end up being somewhat of a dance, but the level of mayhem had escalated a bit too as more people ran out of talc and espuma spray and switched to buckets of dirty water and eggs. I suppose we had it coming to us - 3 gringos surrounded by a well armed crowd. We were standing at the edge of the park when Robin got the first egg to the head. I saw one get smacked over Kyla's head and I took off running and hid behind a truck. Unfortunitely, they came from behind and I had the sickening sensation of raw egg running down the back of my head and into my shirt. As if that weren't enough, we were eventually surrounded, buckets of water were thrown on us and I even had a full liter sized cup of beer poured on my head. Thank God at this time the combi (van) had just showed up and we were literally dodging water balloons and more eggs from behind it. I dove in just as the last bucket of water hit me and I was soaked to the skin - reeking of booze and eggs. Grosssss!! We got back to Hogar where we got a good laughing at and then I headed to my cabana to clean up. All I wanted was a hot bath, but our hot water wand was lent out and there was no electricity anyway. So I scrubbed raw egg out of my hair with freezing cold water. It was probably in the 50's outside. I was so cold! Kyla was much tougher about it than me. The other girls started coming in from town and looking for a hot water wand too, but we all just had to freeze. At least there's camaraderie in misery! I wore nearly all my clothes that evening.

Yesterday we tried to take the primary school kids to the zoo. I had been wanting to take them there, so I rallied the troops (Kyla, Robin and Felix) and talked to the director about driving the big, blue school bus on Wednesday. Felix heard rumors that the zoo was closed for a few days for cleaning, so I tried to get Johanna, the secretary, or one of the directors to call and make sure it was open. This ended up being a bit frustrating, since people kept asking me if I had called, and I kept telling them to call since I speak minimal Spanish. They would say we don't have the number and i would say, look it up online. Everything is online. So, for about 3 days, I wasn't sure if the trip was happening for sure, who would drive, and if the zoo was open, but I kept pressing to make it happen. So yesterday, we loaded on the bus, assured by several different people that the zoo was indeed open and endured an amazingly bumpy 1 1/2 hour bus ride to the Tuxtla zoo. I was feeling sick again, so I think things felt a little harder than they really were. We got to the entrance of the zoo and there was a big sign saying the zoo was closed for cleaning until the 19th. I was so disappointed for the kids! And frustrated with the lack of organization. We had to do something special with our 14 little expectant charges. So I suggested the movies. They seemed really excited by this idea and I spent the next few minuted praying that there would be an age appropriate film playing at the right time.

Felix and I ran into the theater and found that the Wes Anderson film, "Fantasic Mr. Fox", was playing in 5 minutes. We talked to the manager and even got 3 adult tickets for free. We had the whole theater to ourselves. Each kid had a sandwich we had brought from Hogar, and I scurried over to the Sorianna to buy drink boxes and a candy treat for each of them. By this time I'm pretty sure I had a full fledged fever, but I was so happy to see the kids taken care of that I finished passing out my treats and collapsed into a theater chair. I know for many of the little ones this was the first time they had ever been to a movie. I felt so content just watching them enjoy themselves. The film was great too, something I think I would have liked to watch anyway! Full of adventure and humor and wonderfully, creatively done. The kids were really happy and got another sandwich and candy on the way home. I went straight to bed when we got back. I felt a little better later and went to dinner. The kids are so kind to me. I got hugs and well wishes before I headed back to bed.

By the way, I'm writing this the next day and feel a bit better, though I may go to the doctor again anyway. So don't worry!

Carnaval Tambien!!

2010-02-16T16:42:00.000-08:00

Carnaval también!! Another great day of fun.

My roommate Kyla has been sick for the past week or so with a stomach bug, so she stayed at Hogar yesterday, but today we decided to go in and see the doctor. While waiting for the lab results we had a little snack at a nearby cafe and ran into some of the kids from Hogar. They were roaming the street looking for trouble and wreaking havoc like the rest of them out there. We bought them ice cream and joined them in their wanderings. Kyla armed with spray foam and me just taking pictures. It was only a matter of minutes and we were covered in soap, talc, and general mess. Today all the dancing was in neighborhood street parties, and you could wander from one to the other and basically dance your way around town. Fantastic costumes were still everywhere and every party had their own marimba band. We visited the Hogar kids selling snacks and joined in dancing with the ones who weren't. The dance circles are kind of like a mosh pit with lots of crashing into each other and waving sticks and skipping and hoping and dancing. Kyla said it was a lot more organized than a mosh pit but it definitely had moments of pure craziness. Lots of yelling and people coving each other in foam and talc and a real feeling of jubilation. I liked it. Have I mentioned how much I love Mexico? These moments of celebration and community and color are so amazing. I love that every body gets together and links arms and laughs and dances for days.

I even got to eat at a free communal meal with a bunch of people in a back courtyard of a house. There were old ladies chopping up weird meat parts and big pots of stew simmering over charcoal. Everywhere people were eating, slurping soup out of bowls, waiting in line for more food and grabbing stacks of tortillas. I'm not even sure the bowls were rinsed out for the next person, but the soup was scalding hot, free, and greatly appreciated. It reminded me of the Vientamese soup pho, because I wasn't sure my meat was cooked when I got the soup initially, but after a few minutes in my very hot broth, I'm pretty certain all was well. The two Hogar boys I was with were such gentlemen. They made sure I had a seat and enough tortillas. We shared two chairs. People were looking at me like, "who's that gringo sharing our tortillas?". Curiosity, not at all impoliteness. As a side note, when I got back to Hogar and told the director Tia Arde that I'd eaten at a communal kitchen, she was really surprised and told me it wasn't such a good idea after the first day of the Carnaval. Ha! I guess, we'll see how I feel tomorrow, but for now, seeing the swirling smoke in the air from all the cooking and sharing a meal with a bunch of strangers in a crowded courtyard was absolutely great.

We got Kyla's lab results and verified she was being treated for the right parasite. While we were waiting for the results, a group of guys came over and tried to hit on us. How strange is that to hit on women obviously waiting for lab results from some sickness? Ridiculous and kind of funny. The receptionist kicked them out, which was appreciated. We caught the public bus back to Hogar.

I spent the rest of the night hanging out with the kids and learning new card games.

Carnaval!!!

2010-02-15T09:06:00.000-08:00

The last couple of days have been full of festive activities as Carnaval is in full swing here. The past week has been full of planing and promoting our Disco for Haiti. The kids promoted at all the schools and sold tickets and even raffled a sheep. They made tons of decorations, cooked food to sell for the event, posted signs around town, and in general put their whole hearts into it. The night of the event (Saturday) all the girls were getting ready, putting on makeup and wearing ribbons in their hair. The boys smelled like cologne (which was just funny) and everyone waited in expectation. The DJ was really late, several hours and not many people attended the disco. When the DJ finally got the lights up and the music blaring, Johanna the secretary and I had to rally up the kids to get them onto the dance floor. We had a great time for about 20 minutes until the power went out the first time. This happened about 5 times. The equipment was just too much for the aged electrical system here and it hadn't been tested before. The kids were so dejected! People started to leave, and by 11:30 it looked like the dance was a flop, and over.

Then the DJ and his crew got power from somewhere and we had the dance anyway. Started at about 12am with primarily Hogar kids who wouldn't go to bed without getting their dance on. Bless them for being tenacious and making a good time out of it anyway! We danced until 2:30am and it was a blast. There was lots of reggaeton and then it merged into some kind of fast Mexican disco polka. I felt like I was jogging in place. All the kids were singing along at the top of their voices and I couldn't help but laugh out loud as William, my dance partner at the time, was so dramatic in in his singing I felt like I was being serenaded! Falling into bed close to 3am, I felt impressed by these kids abilities to make the best out of what originally had seemed a dismal failure.

The next morning, feeling so, so tired, I clamored abroad the combi for Coita and rode with the kids to sell snacks at the festival. Coita was a crazy, musical mess of marimba music, dancing in the streets and people covered in talc and foam, and sometimes eggs.

According to mexicoonline.com: Carnaval is an official Mexican holiday that kicks off a five-day celebration of the libido before the Catholic lent begins on Ash Wednesday. Beginning the weekend before Lent, Carnaval is celebrated exuberantly with parades, floats, costumes, music and dancing in the streets. Carnaval is equivalent to Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

The costumes are really amazing. Bright colors with amazing detail, flowers on hats and painted masks, bells covering dancing feet and many carrying toy noisemakers, guns and machetes. I even saw a guy with a wooden toy gun covered in a raccoon skin. That was weird. He was holding it like a macabre guitar. Many costumes included drums hanging from straps attached to outfits, and and garlands made of corn.

I hung out in the main square for a while, people watching and staying with our crew at the table. Very quickly the carnival atmosphere took over and I was out with the guys roaming the streets with a canister of colored spray foam. We looked like a teen street gang with our sunglasses protecting our eyes, our bandanas around our faces, and all of us covered in talc and filth. We joined a couple neighborhood street dances and linked arms and skipped in circles. I'm grateful to these kid for taking me under their wings so to speak and showing me a good time. I would imagine having a 30 american woman to lead around could be kind of lame, but I've felt nothing but welcome since being here.

I was so tired and grubby when we got back. A bunch of kids were watching "Blue Lagoon" in the main courtyard on the t.v. and I've forgotten what a racy coming of age movie that was! It was fun to drink horchata and veg out in front of the t.v. for a while. I went back to my room to bathe and wash my stained clothes. I literally felt like a zombie the rest of the evening. Sometimes I forget the average 15 year difference between me and most of these kids and am surprised when I don't have the same energy they do!

Carnaval is for 3 more days. The kids don't have school until Thursday, so everyone is around and has time to play. I think I need to start drinking coffee again in the mornings to keep up with the energy level! :)

Day 15 + 16

2010-02-13T13:13:00.000-08:00

Everything is rattling and shaking and the wind outside is howling. It's 10pm, Friday night and the chill is seeping under my door. This is a solid, cement building, but all the windows and doors are metal and rattle. It felt like Seattle today, all blustery and rainy.

It's been a good day today. A full day, productive. I wrote some emails in the morning and then went down to the high school for their carnival celebrations. Carnival is a big deal here, with marimba bands and dancing and people throwing talcum powder at each other, men dressed up in costumes with bells on their ankles and people dousing each other with water and sometimes eggs. The high school looked like halloween had just occurred, with zombie like white powder covering everyone from head to toe. I got shuffled into a dance circle, someone grabbed my camera and took pictures of me while I tried not to feel too self-conscious about being the only gringo there and having a group of teenagers staring at me. It was pretty fun. I think I turned many shades of pink before getting doused with talcum powder and becoming white and ghostlike as the rest of them.

I got to drink pozole from a gourd, which is a chocolatey drink made with maize. It's rich and tasty. A bunch of guys I didn't know wanted to pose with me, so I made the rounds. My photo is on someone's cell phone and he can tell his friends, " that that's awkward white girl who visited our school and looked embarrassed!" :)

The kids don't have school Monday through Wednesday because this is such a big deal Carnival. Sunday is the real party in Coita, or so I hear, but I'm not sure I'll be seeing much of it. It depends on the plan here for that day. Tomorrow night we are having a Disco at Hogar with the proceeds from the tickets going toward our Haiti relief project. Tomorrow's also the day when I get to find out if I win a sheep. This party is going to be great fun. I'm sure we will dance to reggeton for many hours. Hopefully, it's a success and a lot of kids show up.

I spent some time in Coita today doing some shopping. I bought tiny, little fun colored nail polish for the the girls, and some plastic dinosaurs and animals for the little boys. i also got more of my allergy meds, since I noticed I was supposed to keep taking if for 3 more days.

I just got back in time to prepare for art class. We painted landscapes with watercolor today and they turned out beautifully. I showed them a couple examples from an old art history book I found in their library. I taught them what the horizon line was and they just had to draw a landscape with a horizon. Simple, easy project. They sketched it out fist in pencil and then painted it. I had also bought them lolly pops in town, so I had a pretty, content, happy class.

After dinner I spent some time talking to 14 year old Luiz Fernando. He's such a sweet, smart kid. He's knitting me a scarf. He's one of those super smart honor's students, with a dorky laugh and a silly sense of humor. Kyla and I always appreciate that he tries to talk to us, even though frequently we may not understand. He's been taking English classes with Kyla, and his English is basic, but pretty good. Also, Luiz Fernando tears it up on the dance floor. He will be a lot of fun at tomorrow's disco.

So, to bed, to bed. I'm too tired to care about everything rattling and I've gotten used to animals screaming in the night and girls blaring pop music in the morning. Bueno noches everyone!

Haircuts at Hogar

2010-02-12T08:44:00.000-08:00

Every few weeks the barber, who is a former Hogar kid and plays on the football team with the older boys, comes and gives haircuts. It's quite entertaining to see the kids looking all fresh and clean, and the massive amount of dark, thick hair on the ground. I suppose if I needed a trim he could fit me in too!

Mama Pig and Her Piglets

2010-02-12T08:43:00.000-08:00

Day 14 - Two Weeks!

2010-02-11T07:20:00.000-08:00

I woke earlier than usual yesterday and made it to breakfast with the primary and secondary kids. It was cute to see everyone in their uniforms scarfing down their breakfast with their toothbrushes ready next to their plate. They all do a thorough brushing after breakfast. There's a lot of wet hair gel and knee socks, yawning and rushing to get on the bus.

I went with Johanna the secretary, and some of the older kids to one of the secondary schools to take collections for Haiti. We are doing a bunch of fundraisers for Haiti as well, including the raffling off a sheep (I hope I win!), selling tickets to a big Valentine Party/Disco on Saturday, and making scarfs to sell. I think it's really great how excited the kids have been to participate in giving back. As the receivers of so many donations themselves, it doesn't take much to convince them to help others.

It was fun to see a Mexican secondary school. Lots and lots of kids in uniforms. Very basic classrooms full to the brim, and kids playing in the courtyards. I can't help but think about the article I read recently on Korea's dwindling population. They work so hard in their jobs and the perfect private school for their child is such an expectation that they can only afford one kid per family. That one kid is given the best of the best. The government is encouraging their employees take a half day a week and have a family day. This is to encourage people to procreate more to offset their increasing aging population. In such a highly competitive world, how are Mexican village children, with ancient typewriters and where even the office staff doesn't have enough ink for their printers supposed to compete in a global economy? I don't know, but it makes me wonder. http://www.mexico-child-link.org/mexico-factfile-statistics.htm

Arriving back at Hogar, I went to visit the piglets again. My favorite little runt had died. He was all flat and shrunken looking. So, sad. However, the other 12 or so piglets seem to be thriving and just watching them climbing all over their huge, hairy mama pig to feed was fascinating. They were so clumsy! Walking on each other's heads and stumbling around. I love the animals here.

The rest of the afternoon, I prepped for my art class. I planned to make Valentine's Day cards. I figured it would be nice to have a simple, straightforward project, and I made a great example. I made a card for Kyla. Then I laid down for a little while, since I think the pills I'm on make wipe me out. The class went well, though I had about half as many kids. Many of the kids made Valentine's for me, though I tried to encourage them to make it for friends and family. I love their artwork and am more than happy to hang it on my wall. I played soothing music and had everything set up perfectly so we had a very tranquil class. This is due in part to the littlest boys not showing up until my class was nearly over, but I now they know that class is at 6pm and they've got to come if they want to participate. I do love those crazy little boys.

After dinner, I scooped a snoozing little boy up off a chair and took him back to his dorm. He's one of the triplets. They are so cute, though I still have the hardest time telling them apart. There's Freddy, Fernando, and Alejandro. All have spikey hair, and missing teeth. 8 year old tornados.

I was in bed by 9:45pm. I'm so glad I'm feeling better and my rash is subsiding. I still have maybe one and a half days of pills left, so hopefully my allergy doesn't return when I'm through. My hands still feel a little funny as do my feet, but I'm definitely on the mend. Thank you for all your prayers and support. Mom, sorry to freak you out. I love you.

Early Morning...Not Ready to Face the Day

2010-02-10T10:26:00.000-08:00

Luiz Fernando and Hugo the Dancer

2010-02-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

Fun on the Playground

2010-02-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Day 13

2010-02-10T10:16:00.000-08:00

A first attempt at sculpture... :)

The older kids were collecting donations for Haiti today at some of the schools, so Kyla and I got a ride into town again. We ran some errands and I had a check up at the doctor's. My hands are achy and pretty rashed as are my feet. The result of my consultation was that I got another (different) shot in the rear. I had to go downstairs to the pharmacy, buy the needle and my hydro cortisone and take it back upstairs so they could stick me. This one really hurt, but the didn't come with crazy side-effects. I really hope this is the end of shots. I was told to show up again tomorrow for another check up. I hope I'm mostly cured by tomorrow. At least the kids aren't afraid of me anymore!

On another note, we haven't had water in a long time. The main building has water so we haul it in buckets and also do our laundry in the sinks down there. The thing I miss the most is flushing the toilet. It doesn't smell pretty in our room. We throw a bucket of water down it occasionally, but one can only make so many trips across the green to the main building throughout the day. I'm super at bucket baths now. I actually prefer them to cold water showers now that I have a hot water wand thinggie. I don't know if this lack of water is normal, but it's pretty bearable minus the stank.

Other news of the day is that the baby pigs were born at 3am this morning. I visited them all cozy under their heat lamp in a separate container next to their mama. They were really pink and tiny. So cute. The runt of the litter is my favorite. He is about half the size of the others and long and skinny. I even got to pet them. And, yes, in case you are wondering, the whole place reeked of pig, but it was so worth it to see the new piglets!

I had a make up art class today. We attempted to make imaginary animals with feathers out of homemade dough and multicolored feathers I bought in the States. I made the dough out of flour, salt and water, and it was a little too wet, so they had a hard time making anything stand up very well. I think these kids are so new to art that even the basic project is hard for them. Most didn't build very high on their plate and just threw a bunch of feathers on a blob. Oh well. Tomorrow I try again. I realize it is a unique challenge to teach kids of varying ages and skills, most of whom have had very little access to art. Like I shouldn't assume that they will know how to make basic animal shapes out of dough. And I need to always have a finished example. Most importantly though, I think the kids are having fun and getting a chance to try their hands at something new, messy and fun.

Day 11+12

2010-02-09T18:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's highlight had to be Hugo dancing like Michael Jackson. Hugo is 14 or 15 and he can move. The performance that Kyla and I were treated to happened just after dinner. It was supposed to be a secret. I'm not sure if he's just shy or he's not supposed to be dancing… who knows. Anyway, I walked in to "Thriller" blaring, Hugo popping and grinding and doing the moonwalk, popped collar and all. Talk about being blown away….He is so good! Like raw talent, I just want to throw him in dance school and he's got a career ahead of him good. I asked him if there was a dance school he could attend and he seemed pretty confused at the idea. I explained I thought he was really talented and could possibly have a career as a dancer. He seemed to think the director would never support it and it was a ridiculous idea. Tuxtla (about an hour away) has dance schools. I'm sure Hugo is expected to go to university and have a stable career, which is an admirable thing for sure, but he's SUCH and good dancer! He performed for us for at least an hour. What I love is that he was also singing the whole time at the top of his lungs. I'm going to show him YouTube videos of break dancers.

I suppose with this many kids there's bound to be someone a ridiculously talented. It's just so amazing to see it.

Earlier in the day, Kyla and I attended the younger boys' football game. Though it was fun to see them play, the game itself was pretty bad. They lost 8-0.

Around noon I started to notice a rash developing on my chest. I thought it was from some of the lotion I was using, but it didn't go away. Rather it's been spreading. My whole body is now covered in an ugly, speckled rash. I have no idea what from. I have no allergies that I'm aware of and I've been here a while so you would think something like an allergy would have made itself known earlier. The night before I woke up choking, not being able to breathe much and felt like I had something in my lungs. My lungs have felt a little strange for a couple of days. No sore throat or cold like symptoms, no headache, no fever. So I don't know. When I tried to look it up online it gave me a bunch of pretty dramatic alternatives. I'm thinking it may be a bacterial infection related to living around so many animals and their feces. The littlest ones are always playing in the dirt, so who knows what I've been around. I probably just need to build up some sort of resistance.

So today I went to a doctor. I think they put me in front of the line because I'm a foreigner. It felt really wrong walking past all the babies and mothers who had been waiting for ages. As soon as the doctor saw me she said I have an allergy and needed a shot of cortisone in my butt. Now I'm no wuss, however, dropping my pants in a Mexican village clinic and getting a shot in the rear is not my idea of a good time. I did it though was a bit confused as to when I should get off of the examination table. It was pretty funny that I laid half clothed talking to the 3 other people in the room before I realized it was okay to get dressed. I tried to look casual, but I think it came across as awkward and funny. I was also given steroid tablets to take every 8 hours. I felt really dizzy and tired after the shot. The rest of my afternoon was kind of shot because I needed to rest.

My skin looked like a strawberry so I hid out in my room in the afternoon and slept. The kid's looked at me like they could catch something just by being around me. I felt really crappy. I very reluctantly canceled art class and laid low. I did end up seeing the sunset with Kyla and that was great.

After that I had dinner and showed Hugo and some of the other guys break dancing YouTube videos. He thought they were pretty rad, but still wanted to watch more Michael Jackson. So that's what we did, until my contacts were dry and it was time for bed.

Day 10

2010-02-08T17:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, so yesterday was Saturday, which is always a nice day because everyone sleeps in a bit more and the day is a tad more relaxed. The kids still have chores, but have more free time too.

I studied Spanish a bit, wrote for a while, and then it was time to head to the older guy's football (soccer) game. I love going anywhere in a vehicle from Hogar because it is amazing to see 20 people packed into a truck or in a VW van. It always works though, and it seems to be the norm for two people to ride in the passenger seat even when there is room in the back. I'll try to get a picture sometime.

The game started out a little rough with Hogar playing one man short. The other vehicle with the rest of the team had to run some errands first. However, the guys played great - and everyone eventually showed up. It was a pretty aggressive game. Lots of fouls and players getting knocked down. Hogar was up 3-0 when all hell broke loose. One of our players got fouled again and someone got shoved, a punch was thrown, then everyone was yelling and people were running to join in from the sidelines. It wasn't pretty. The guys were so infuriated. The fight was broken up with much resistance and everyone looked dissatisfied. The team captains had to talk to the ref and see what the penalties would be for for future games. It may be that some of our key players won't be allowed to play the next game. The ride home was pretty somber.

Ironically, when we got home, mass was just beginning. Most of the team just headed straight into the chapel. We had visiting Anglican priests. Apparently they visit every 3 weeks or so. The sermon was about whatever you do, do it for the Lord….whether that be schoolwork, or football…. Yeah. Enough said.

I had never taken communion, the eucharist, as they call it in Catholic and Anglican churches from a priest. That was weird, as for me it's such a personal thing between me a God. So odd to have everyone watching me as I had a wafer put on my tongue by a priest. I think it was having someone else feed me. It's sort of intimate. Still, it was the first time I've been able to partake of communion in a long time and so I was glad I did it.

The evening was relaxed. Quite a few of the kids watched a football game and a pile of girls made snacks to sell at the game the following day. I talked for quite a while with Suleyma about life, relationships, being married to Caleb. It was really nice. It felt like the first conversation in a while that was a little deeper and more meaningful. I did make a bunch of ridiculous mistakes and put my foot in my mouth numerous times. I was trying to say that Caleb and I really know each other after 6 1/2 years of marriage but what I said is that he and I both climb each other better and better as the years pass. He climbs me and I climb him. !!!!! Okay, this was not what I meant to say. I was trying to say he knows me and I know him. Thank God for a sense of humor! Ha.

Sunset

2010-02-07T15:49:00.001-08:00

A few of the girls and I and Kyla scampered to the top of the water tank at sunset. It was so, so beautiful!

Day 9

2010-02-07T14:42:00.000-08:00

I feel like every day here is strange and wonderful and full of new things. I am completely comfortable and can be myself. Just the thought of leaving in a little over a month makes me so sad. So, I shouldn't think of it. Not yet.

Yesterday I finally got all my ducks in a row and posted my fundraiser information for Hogar. It felt good to get that done. Afterward, Kyla and Sophia ( an new volunteer from Sweden) hung out in the chapel and talked religion for a while. Sophia isn't sure what she believes, but is very interested in learning about God. Kyla had a Catholic background, but believes in more of an energy than a personal God, a type of pantheism if I had to label it. She's drawn to tribal religions and is interested in a lot of ideas. You probably know where I stand by now. So, I shared the Gospel. For me it comes down to Jesus. It was really great just hanging out and talking. Very relaxed and not at all confrontational or weird.

When the kids got back from school I had them sign a thank you card for Betsy and Gary for the shoes. The kids drew pictures and wrote in English and Spanish. The card is huge - rather, very long. I rolled it up and tied it with a bow. Hopefully they can hang it in their church.

I had another art class yesterday. I spent the morning collecting about 40 branches so we could make mobiles. It was originally a good idea, but I couldn't find a lot to hang from it. So, I had the kids write the names of people who support them on paper cut outs. Friends, family member, teachers, etc. They could also include drawings and elaborations. They hung these with colored plastic string. It wasn't the most attractive project we did, but I figure you win some and you loose some. However, Tia Arde, one of the directors came into the room I teach art at and was really impressed by all the paintings hung on the walls and the stained glass projects in the windows. I spent an hour or so hanging artwork earlier this week. Tia Arde said I was working very hard. It's nice to hear that!

Three of the elementary age girls made me cards. They're so sweet. I have a couple of drawings I hung on my room wall from two girls as well. I'm getting a little collection of memorabilia already.

The best part of the day was our fiesta en la noche. We had a big bonfire, hotdogs, marshmallows….in typical Mexican style our bonfire was doused with gasoline, so when it finally started burning (very little tinder) it was a hot, fast burn. It looked crazy. The kids were trying to roast marshmallows and were squatting by the fire covering their faces with their arms from the searing heat. It was so funny. Most of the marshmallows burned before they got soft in the middle. We kept chasing the little ones who tried to run around with flaming sticks. We presented Betsy and Gary with the card and William gave a little thank you speech. All the kids did a cheer and I think Betsy and Gary were really touched.

Then we had a dance party!! It was so fun, I can't even begin to tell you how great it was. The little ones danced and one in particular, a little boy, stood on the incline by the fire and just rocked out. By himself, just dancing up a storm. Little performer! He was so cute. Kyla and I danced for at least 4 hours. It was great to see the kids personalities emerge and see them having so much fun. My face hurt from smiling so much. The music was blaring. Everything from Regeton, Hip Hop, Electronica, to more Lady Gaga, Shakira, and Eminem. I can't remember the last time I danced that much. I was told I danced like Shakira. Ha! I'm just glad I couldn't see myself dancing. Caleb usually tells me I make silly faces.

We got to bed after 1:30am. Some of the older kids were still hanging out, listening to music. I grabbed our bucket and went back down to the main building for water. We haven't had water in our cabana for a few days and I needed to bathe after all that exertion. It's a pretty normal to run out of water, but it always returns pretty quickly. I've decided I could do without running water just fine - it's the electricity I couldn't do without. No computer… music…charging my camera…..oh, and light. I'm tied to my gadgets. Tomorrow there's another soccer game for the older boys. I can't wait. It was so much fun last Saturday.

Day 8

2010-02-06T17:49:00.000-08:00

I slept in yesterday morning until 8am. I skipped breakfast and just rested. I felt great all day. I had another language class with Rafael and he also showed me the pigs. It's his job to tend them. There are 7 (I think) big pigs and 6 little pink piglets. They were very cute. I can tell he works hard to keep the place clean.

A couple from a church in New Jersey arrived today with 89 pairs of shoes for the kids. It was a huge donation. Kyla and I helped keep the order and distribute them. It was quite the process and took hours. Each kid had his feet sized and then tried on several pairs of shoes. They all got individual cards from someone in the States hoping that the kids would enjoy the shoes. They also got little New Testaments. About 6 kids didn't get shoes because they ran out or didn't have their size. Gary and Betsy (the couple) are going to Tuxtla tomorrow to buy the missing shoes for the remaining children. What a great gift this is! The kids are so happy to get their new shoes and really touched to get individual cards. It was wonderful to see them prancing around and showing off their bright white tennies.

It was a beautiful sunset. I grabbed Kyla and Osayries and Marta (two cute 11 year olds from out dorm) and we raced up the hill to the water tank to watch the sky. It was so fun, dangling our feet over the side, gazing at the breathtakingly beautiful, changing colors, and hanging with the girls. They loved it too. Lots of mosquitos, but totally worth every bite.

The littlest girls Dania and Kristel, chased me with a bottle of water on my way to the main building. They said something about dousing me for my birthday even though that's not until March. I ran down the path but must have slowed down at the end because suddenly my head was drenched. They threw a whole bottle of water on me. I tackled Kristel immediately and she went down and then I sprayed Dania with what was left of the water. What facious little twerps!

Kyla and I attempted to put together a puzzle before dinner with some of the kids, but finally realized it was several puzzles mixed together. Dinner tasted so good to me. I actually made it there early and my beans were still hot.

Afterward I played tickle tackle with the little ones and eventually one of them fell asleep in my lap as I rubbed his back. I carried him to his cabana and laid him in bed. He woke up a little and was so happy to be carried to bed. He had a little smile on his face the whole time. I tucked him in to his sheetless bed fully clothed and gave him three little kisses on his forehead. He looked so content. I helped get a few more little boys to bed, some of which had fallen asleep on the floor or in the wrong bed. I loved this so much that I think I'll do it more often. They just need a mom. I tear up thinking about these little boys. I love them so much already.

Project Hogar - Help the Kids

2010-02-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

I am collecting donations through this website for renovating the little boy's bathroom and hopefully their entire dorm. I will get an estimate today of the cost of this project. I cannot stress enough the importance and urgency of this renovation. More little ones will be living in this dorm as of June, and as the pictures will show, it is in very poor condition. Two of the four toilets are not connected to water and the boys have to pour bucket of water down the toilets to flush them. Currently, they have 9 children living here between the ages of 6 and 13.

They hope to expand the bathroom and have 6 new, flushing toilets, a nice, tiled shower area and new sinks. They also want to redo the boys' bedrooms since the ceiling is leaking and the paint is falling off the walls. The hope is to expand one of these rooms and put in closets. This is all interior renovation and no change will be made to the main structure of the building. The whole place inside and out needs to be repainted as well.

If you feel that you can give, please, please do. I have never felt more strongly about a project. Would you want your son or daughter living in these conditions? These little boys are the newest to Hogar, are the littlest and have the least. I will keep you posted on our estimated financial goal. Thank you in advance for your generosity.

Wednesday, Day 7

2010-02-05T08:23:00.000-08:00

The day flew by yesterday. I had a great quiet time on the water tank on the hill overlooking Hogar. It's just so beautiful around here, you can't help but praise God. Afterward I had a conversational language lesson with Rafael, one of the university students. I think we're going to meet regularly. I'm not much help with grammatical things, but I can talk. He's taking classes in Tuxtla.

It's been pretty laid back here in the mornings since most of the kids are at school. The kids arrive back around 1pm and lunch is at 2pm. I went to town after lunch to see Johanna's (the secretary at Hogar) home. She was so happy to introduce me to her mom, little sisters and brother. We had a really enjoyable time together, though she frequently makes fun of my lack of Spanish and makes me say ridiculous things.

Since it was Wednesday, it was art class day, so I hurried back to Hogar and began preparing for the onslaught of wild children and preparing my lesson. Upon popular request we did painting. I had them paint a happy memory, something specific that they would hopefully put some thought into. I wanted them to have something cheerful for their walls that would remind them, on a rainy, sad day, of better times. It was a moderately successful class. I had about 26 students in a pretty small room. Most painted sunny days with a house and a few trees. Some put a little more thought into it and had specific people in the picture and more detail. One little boy's painting looks like a young Rothko. The class was loud and kind of crazy. But I had some help cleaning up this time and I think they had fun. That's the most important thing for me. The littlest ones were tearing through the paper, they we painting so fast. I've been thinking lately that it would be nice to give the older students a chance to make work too. The classes are open to all ages, but it's so loud and overwhelming, I don't blame them for staying away. I might just have the art room open with some supplies at hand a few mornings a week. I could put on some music and just make it relaxed and available.

Tuesday, Day 6

2010-02-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

Tuesday was a totally weird day. A beautiful, mostly sunny, warm for a while strange day. I realized as I was organizing my room that I was missing two of my tee shirts. At first I thought maybe I was just crazy and hadn't brought them, but then I realized I had and that someone must have taken them. Our room is usually locked unless we're in the building, so that someone must have been pretty slick. I felt so disappointed that one of the girls would steal. I really want to think the best of everyone here. I told a couple of older girls and Tia Ismelda, the chaperon in our dorm about the situation. She grabbed the director Tia Arde and together they went through all of the girls' things. Both of my shirts were found. I know the girl who possibly took them; she's been wanting to hang out with me lately. I bought her a hot water wand for bucket baths yesterday. After lunch, I talked to her and told her that my shirts had gone missing and we found them in her drawer. I let her know that this made me sad, but didn't change the fact that I like her a lot and want to be her friend. I also told her she could still get the hot water wand. She denied taking the shirts, and said she was sad that someone had taken them, but was happy to still be my friend. We parted amiably. I now store my clothes in a locked bin with other valuables in our room (which is also locked).

After that I was walking along the path to the main cabana and passed two of the teen boys, Kyla and a dead sheep. The sheep had just been mauled by one of the dogs. It's head was all torn up. This was sheep pregnant with twins. I felt her stomach and knew the lambs were still alive. I asked the boys if it would be possible to cut the lambs out and save them and I thought they said yes. I felt really upset. I'm kind of a city girl and haven't seen a lot of this kind of thing. I was actually tearing up. It made me feel like a wuss. Meanwhile, they proceeded to hang her from a tree, which was such an awkward job since she was really heavy, the tree was small and these kids not very burly. A couple of times the sheep fell. They were grabbing her around the middle and it was a messy job. When they finally got her hanging upside down they bled her. I had the sinking feeling that the time had passed to save the lambs. The boys seemed in no hurry to cut into her.

They started by skinning her with their machetes. They were surprisingly adept at this and she started to look like hanging meat rather than a sheep in a matter of minutes. When one of the boys put his hand into her stomach, I had to look away because I felt nauseous. Apparently the lambs were too young to save anyway. I didn't stay around for the whole event, but I had an idea what we would have for dinner.

After lunch I saw two of the boys attempting to chop through the sheep's sternum which was just laying on the cement sink area where they usually wash clothes. After some unsuccessful hacking and slashing, one of them pulled out an ax. Once again I didn't stay to watch the whole event, but you get the picture. And yes, we did have lamb tacos for dinner.

I spent some of the afternoon with one of the older boys, William. Really, he's not a boy but a young man. He's 18 or 19, I think. He didn't get into university this round and he's pretty down about that. There are many things he's skilled at and he would like to study the arts or physical education. I think he would be a great P.E. teacher or coach. He's the captain of the soccer team at Hogar, and the kid's really respect him. He has leadership skills. And he loves to draw. Anyway, he's been pretty depressed. I think the director of Hogar suggested to him that he try something else besides university, which is not very encouraging, but I'm sure he meant well. Hopefully, William will try to retake the university exam again and not give up. I really wish I spoke more Spanish, because I feel like my role here is also to encourage the kids. I smile as much as possible, talk to them individually, am very affectionate toward them and try to make myself available to them. Right now, this is all I can do. Some day I hope to have the right words to tell them how special they are, that they're one of a kind, and that they can achieve their dreams.

A Donation Gone Wrong

2010-02-05T06:49:00.000-08:00

Art Class Craziness

2010-02-04T11:55:00.000-08:00

Suleyma and Kyla Enjoying a Treat

2010-02-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

Day 5

2010-02-03T10:59:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I woke up with the realization that it was Monday and my first art class would be in the evening. I finalized my shopping list and together with Kyla and one of the older girls, Suleyma, we headed into town.

The market in Coita is so colorful and narrow. Little winding aisles with wooden tables full of goods - fresh cut flowers, vegetables, toys, clothing, and yesterday, a live turkey in a bag with its head poking out. Totally weird.

So I found everything I was looking for; more cups and spoons for the dining room in Hogar (there's never enough for everyone), a pot to boil water in for me and my own spoon. I also bought fruits and veggies and coffee. Coffee has been hard to go without. I felt kind of weak giving in to my addiction, but I do think I'll enjoy the mornings more now. I got a few art supplies as well.

The three of us girls had a great afternoon buying things and eating. We had liquidos - a flavored milk, and little cinnamon pastries. Later we had tacos al pastor and sodas. We walked back to Hogar, feeling like it had been a real treat to go into town.

I spent the next hour and a half preparing for my class. I chose a project that I thought could work with all ages and would hopefully be something they could hang in their dorms. We have a ton of colored tissue paper so I chose stained glass as our first project. I quickly threw together an example, copied my little intro speech and instructions in Spanish from google translate, and set the room up. I wasn't sure how many kids would show. Apparently my class is obligatory for the elementary age kids. At first I only had 3 girls, but soon enough the class was filled. I think about 20 kids were there. What a mess they made! The tables were covered in paper and glue and the floors were scattered with all kind of craziness. I think it was a success. Some kids were into it more than others but that's to be expected. The littlest ones went to town, tearing into the paper and covering everything with glue. At the end, most had at least followed the idea of making stained glass windows and the place looked like a tornado had torn through there. I spent the next 2 hours cleaning up and trying to get the white plastic tables to be white again rather than multicolored. I didn't know that tissue paper stained that much.

I teach another class on Wednesday and now at least I have an idea of who might attend my class and what they are capable of. The littlest kids did surprisingly well and actually required less help and direction than the bigger kids. Maybe we'll paint, since that seems to be what most of them are excited about.

I talked to one of the directors, Tia Arde about wanting to raise funds to completely redo the bathroom in the little boys' dorm. We had about a 20 minute conversation about their dorm, the possibility of moving them to another dorm, how expensive the maintenance and utilities are at Hogar, and the fact that the little boys' entire dorm needs to be redone. Their ceiling is leaking and the paint is peeling off the walls. Mind you, this whole conversation was in Spanish, so I think I got about 40% of the conversation, just enough to understand the gist of in, but few of the specifics. However, she seemed to be in support of this fund drive for the bathroom and asked if maybe I would be interested in taking on the whole building. I will raise as much as I possibly can, that much is certain. If we can do the whole building then I would call it a miracle. There is a bit of a time crunch since new little boys are coming in June. Today I'm going to work on setting up the infrastructure to raise support for the project. I think it will primarily be through this blog.

Day 4

2010-02-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

I really miss Caleb. Our Skype wasn't working yesterday and our phones ran out of credit after only a five minute conversation. There is so much I want to share with him.

I spent most of yesterday playing with Octavio the little boy I bonded with the day before. We played a made up card game with a few superhero cards he had. We climbed into a club house on the monkey bars and scaled a tree. I gave him lots of piggy back rides and pretended to be a horse. He loved it so much. I was also invited by one of the boys, Alex, to partake in his family lunch. On Sundays, the kids who have families sometimes get visitors. I found out that Octavio is Alex's cousin and he has 9 brothers and sisters. His mom's in a wheelchair. Octavio asked me yesterday if I would adopt him. He's six years old.

I gave piggy back rides to the little boys until I was filthy and so tired. They never have an adult play with them like that. They loved it and had I had the energy, I don't think they would have tired of it for hours.

I got a little crazy yesterday. It was a really cold, drizzly day. Probably mid 50's. Octavio was running around in shorts and a tee shirt, so I made him go back to his dorm and we found some sweaters for him. When I was in his dorm, I checked the bathroom again, and it was even worse than before. Then I saw Octavio tear a page out of a book to blow his nose, because there wasn't even toilet paper in their bathroom. I just got so infuriated. I marched back to my dorm, found one of the older girls, told asked her if she could help me and told her the little boy's bathroom was filthy, had no soap or t.p. and that it was unfit for animals. She went and talked to another of the girls in charge of the little ones. I grabbed some t.p. from my room and a wet wipe, went back outside and made Octavio blow his nose, and wiped his dirty little face and hands. He had to go to the bathroom so I urged him to use the one for the older boys in the main building. He didn't seem to want to, but I said it was ok. He came out crying because an older boy scolded him for being in there. I explained that it was my fault and consoled little buddy. One of the girls (I'm still learning names) that helps with the boys came to talk to me about the bathroom. I think she was saying that the little boys don't keep it clean and that it was difficult without any running water. I tried to explain that I understood that it wasn't her fault specifically and that it was Hogar's fault for having the little ones in a place with such a decrepit bathroom, but that it was necessary to keep it clean or the kids would get sick.

The amazing thing is that by mid afternoon as I went back to the little boys quarters, that same girl having some help from one of the 11 year old boys, had cleaned the whole place. Upon first entering their dorm it now smelled clean, not like urine. She even had me check the bathroom to see if I approved. I thanked her profusely, told her she was an angel and gave her a big hug. There was some ( a little) t.p. and soap. Better than nothing.

So here's what I propose for my time here. I want to raise the funds to redo the little boys bathroom completely. I also want to raise money for more toys and books for them. If anyone is interested, Caleb and I have a Paypal account and we can accept donations that way. I want to check with the director of Hogar first to see what the protocol is and what the estimated cost will be. However, I feel really strongly about this. These little boys deserve better.

Also, while I'm at it, let me put this out there: Does anyone know of a yarn company or a store that would be interested in donating a whole heck of a lot of fun, soft yarn to the kids here? They love knitting and crocheting, and the yarn I brought lasted about 2 days at the most.

I spent some time in the Chapel on the grounds yesterday. I find myself talking a lot to God here and thinking a lot about how much it breaks His heart to see his children suffer too. I'm rereading John and just being reminded of the fact that Jesus has conquered the evil in this world and our hope is in Him. I find this tremendously comforting. Isaiah 58:7, 9-11 talkes about true fasting. Of our responsibility it says,

" Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-

when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?"

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy you in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. "

This to me is hope.

Day 3 at Hogar

2010-02-01T09:45:00.000-08:00

I woke yesterday morning to the sound of screaming hogs. If you've never heard that sound before, let me tell you it is horrible, like gut-wrenchingly horrible. I covered my head with my pillow until I gave up and got out of bed.

Breakfast was cornflakes with warm milk. Since they ran out of spoons ( a common occurrence) I ate mine with my fingers, like many of the kids. It was nice to have something besides tortillas.

Afterward I headed over to the little boys dorm. I hadn't been inside yet, and after my experience the night before with the little snugler I determined to spend more time with the little guys. Walking inside i was hit with the stench of urine. I was shocked. The girls dorm is spotless. I later found out that the tia and tio, or aunt and uncle care takers in this dorm had quit two months ago, so the little ones had no real adult to take care of them. The older girls are helping a lot, washing their clothes and making sure they get to bed, but there is no one to make sure they wear a sweater when it's cold and that their beds have sheets. I guess there is one woman who is filling in, but the boys need more. I checked out the place. It's a very old building with large pieces of paint peeling from the ceiling, iron cots, several without sheet and just a few blankets, dirty, chipped walls, and a bathroom that is positively medieval. It is a dark, dank, grey, concrete room with four toilets, two or three of which don't flush because they aren't hooked up to water, so the kids have to fill buckets to drain the toilets. They also have a two tiny, filthy sinks, no soap, a small bag of laundry detergent next to it. The shower was so dark and scary looking I didn't even go in. The place wreaked. It was so shocking. It made the girls dorm seem like the Ritz Carlton. I'm thinking of seeing how much it would cost to redo their bathroom. I did tell several of the older girls that the boy's bathroom was dirty and had no soap.

I also noticed these boys have next to no toys. There are 8 boys in this dorm and maybe 5 small toys. I was looking for children's books and they have about 5 of those as well. I spent a good part of the morning reading, rather haltingly to the boys in Spanish and they really loved it. I also played karate, and tickled them a lot and held the littlest boy when he fell down and cried. He sat in my lap a long time - I think he just liked being held. This little guy looks a little rough. His teeth are rotting and he has a scabby wound on his head, but he's all heart.

In the afternoon the girls had a soccer (futbol) game on the home turf. The other team was quite professional in comparison and Hogar did end up losing 8-0. But the girls are good sports. The older boys had a game too. They are a pretty professional looking team with matching jerseys and shoes with cleats. They played Coita the town team on a field a few kilometers away. I was the only girl that went from Hogar. Boy, that was a fun game to watch. These boys can hustle. They won 3-0 but didn't seem to happy at the end, so I'm guessing with penalties maybe they didn't do so well as I thought. It was so fun, albeit very cold, sitting in the grey drizzle on the bleachers like a cement pyramid between two fields overlooking the cow pasture nearby. I learned it is appropriate to yell, " Vamos", "Tranquillo", "Corre", and the occasional excited English phrase is fine too. It think they just thought I was funny. I rode back to Hogar in a VW van overflowing with sweaty teen boys and was so happy to be where was.

I love it here and it's only been 3 days. Already I'm so attached to the kids. I had a boy ask me if I was going to adopt one of the little boys. It is really hard to be here and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Day 2 at Hogar

2010-01-31T09:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a great day. A very full day. I finally was able to explore the supply room and found all kinds of things I can use for art projects for the kids. Using google translate (thank you!) I was able to talk to the director about teaching art classes regularly. So now I'm slotted for 3 times a week, lunes, miercoles y viernes. My first class is on Monday and I need to not only come up with a fantastic plan that translates to kids between the ages of 6 and 19, but have perfect directions in Spanish and a finished example. I'm a little intimidated, but I'm expecting a huge success. These kids are so hungry for activities, attention, and something fun and creative to do. They are also really bright, so I'm expecting to be blown away by their endeavors.

Since I had discovered sidewalk chalk in the storeroom, Kyla and I taught the kids how to play hopscotch after lunch. I spent the whole afternoon in the sun, barefoot, jumping around, laughing, drawing, covered in chalk and having a blast with the kids. I felt about 10 years old myself.

I also discovered some card games in the supply room, which was a real treat. I played a about 10 games of Uno yesterday. I now know how to say, "Let's play", " Your turn", and "Don't cheat" in Spanish. Kyla has an Ipod speaker so I was able to plug in my Nanno and put on a full album of Lady Gaga for the girls. We sat on the cement floor with our shoes off, music blaring, playing Uno. There is such an irony and contrast in my surroundings and Lady Gaga's lyrics about fame, fortune and boys, boys, boys. We don't even have toilet seats here. The girls were impressed that I liked the same kind of music and wanted me to translate the lyrics. I summed it up with " She likes boys and lots of things and dancing." Kind of lame, but the best I can do for now. Anyway, they really are better off not knowing most of those lyrics, especially the little girls!

In the evening a couple of women from town showed a slideshow accompanied by music. The lyrics were about God and Jesus and how he takes care of us. The kids sang along at the top of their voices and I got a little teary. There is little I love more than the sound of children's voices praising the Lord. I wasn't sure how religious it was here having had to promise not to proselytize as a volunteer, however, this is a highly Catholic country, and of course that is a part of the children't upbringing here.

I have moments here where I forget this is a home for children who are abandoned, orphaned, or have a parent that can't take care of them. The kids go about their daily lives, go to school, play, do chores and seem pretty happy. Then I have the moments where it is heart-wrenchingly obvious that these are children with out a mother and a father, without someone to read to them every night, tuck them in and whisper, " l love you". There are few adults here, not enough to go around and the older teens take care of the younger ones. While I was listening to the kids sing, one of the little boys (one of a set of triplets) came over to me and put his head in my lap. He hadn't talked to me much before and I barely knew him. He just needed some loving. It was so hard for me not to cry. I held him and rubbed his back and rocked him as we sang. After a couple of songs he got up and left, I guess he got his fill. I'm trying to give a lot of affection and attention to the kids here and they are like little sponges. I feel really busy, so many kids want to hang out and play and I think that's because they are all really desiring that one on one time.

Later in the evening the girls had a fiesta. I think they had a party just because they needed one and it was Friday night. They built a big bonfire outside of their dorms and we roasted marshmallows, ate popcorn, chicharron, chips and sausage dip and shrimp pico de gallo. That was more food than I had seen in the last several days. These girls can pack it away. The eating, snuggling under blankets and listening to music lasted for hours. Kyla played her guitar and the one Shakira song she knew. It was really great. I finally made it to bed at 1am smelling of campfire and hotsauce.

Pretty Ladies and Their New Yarn

2010-01-31T09:37:00.000-08:00

Josef Fransisco, A Happy First Time Crochet-er

2010-01-31T09:13:00.000-08:00

A View of the Girls Dorm

2010-01-31T09:03:00.000-08:00

A View of the Boys Dorm

2010-01-31T08:45:00.001-08:00

Hogar Infantil

2010-01-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

After an 18 hour bus ride through breathtakingly beautiful mountains and jungle, and a 40 minute minivan ride to the small town of Ocozocouatla de Espinosa I arrived in Hogar Infantil (www.hogarinfantil.org) exhausted, but excited to see where I would be spending the next 5 weeks.

Hogar Infantil is a children's home set up like a ranch with sheep roaming the grounds, chicken and several pigs kept in pens. The ranch is set in a valley in the foothills of the cloud scraping mountains. There are about 80 kids, ranging from ages 5-19. It's so beautiful here with the low-lying clouds and the juxtaposition of the colorful buildings against the brown-green of the hills.

I woke yesterday morning to the the music blaring again. I'm in a room in the girls dorm that I share with another volunteer Kyla. She's from San Diego and a hippie. She's really friendly and nice and I'm glad to have someone who speaks more Spanish then I do and knows the ropes around here. Back to the music… the younger girls dorm is right next to us and seem to have the radio blaring all day long and into the evening. Frequently it's the same song…the Spanish version of the Bryan Adams song "Everything I Do I Do It For You. They also love Lady Gaga, which thanks to Caleb has become a regular part of my day anyway!

Two little girls came into my room while I was getting ready and wanted to paint their nails. They noticed that mine were red and so knew I had nail polish. It was the cutest thing sitting on my bed painting their tiny nails and giggling. I showed them how to blow on their nails and wave their hands in the air to help the paint dry. They took it very seriously and looked so funny! Already my polish has ended up somewhere with one of the older girls. That's fine, I'm glad I brought it.

The two little girls, Dania (7) and Kristal (8) kept telling me about the 'tanke'. I had no idea what they were talking about, my only thought was that it might have something to do with the cold shower I had that morning and the water tank. Kristal grabbed my hand and Dania found Kyla and we went outside and headed up the hill on a little path. These girls can climb. We were scaling rocks and picking out way past briar patches. On the top of this hill is a big cement structure - the water tank. We climbed the little ladder to the top and stood looking down at Hogar and the beautiful valley. A great start to the morning!

I went into town later that morning and saw the market. Chiapas is so different from where Caleb and I live in Tulum. People aren't kidding when they've told us we haven't seen the real Mexico yet. Chiapas is the real deal. So colorful, dusty, unpretentious, fascinating….living a deeply seeded culture not just imitating it in touristy shops. It's also tremendously poor. On my bus ride here I passed through towns that were just dirt, chickens and wooden boards nailed together. People were actually plowing with oxen and handmade wooden plows. Corn was planted anywhere it would grow. People here clear land with machetes.

So, the town was great, the produce better than in Tulum, and I got to ride in the back of the pickup on our way back. In the afternoon I passed out the yarn I had brought purchased with donations. It was $80 worth of yarn, gone in about 10 minutes. A few of the boys knit, so I made sure to make it over to their building. An 11 year old boy named Josef Francisco wanted to learn how to crochet. He learned in about five minutes. I couldn't believe it. He's so quick and kind, and I just loved holding the yarn for him for the rest of the afternoon as he worked on his scarf. The other boys were pretending to be dogs and playing with rocks and a few toys. They children here, especially the little boys don't seem to have much in terms of toys. I think there is one little truck for them to share and a few of them have stuffed animals. So there's a lot of creative play - rocks and sticks, and bits of trash all become much, much more.

The evening was spent chasing children and learning about the ranch's security measures. Apparently we are quite the target for thieves as there is the misconception that there is money here. Since it is funded by a U.S. nonprofit, and the grounds looks great (not at all fancy, just well tended by the kids) this place is always at risk for robberies. Even the kitchen cupboards are locked with padlocks, though there isn't much in them either. Two weeks ago there was a thief trying to get in from the roof of the main building. If anything like this happens protocol is that the alarm goes off and all the boys rush out with their machetes! They didn't catch the guy last week but they scared him off. Last night we had another scare and the boys were running around looking pretty fierce and some were riding the tractor and shining a light into the weeds. Nobody was found. I'm really beginning to just go with the flow here in Mexico. At this point very little is surprising to me anymore and children wielding machetes is the norm.

The kids all work really hard. They have chores everyday, tending the animals, cleaning, gardening, helping the younger kids with homework. I don't really know what to do yet, or how to help, but I plan on being more proactive today. I brought some art supplies but am unsure yet when to have a class or exactly what projects to do. There's an organized disorganization here that I'm still figuring out.

Today is beautiful and breezy and I did make plans yesterday to do some conversational English with one of the boys. I think I'm going to go find him....

A Quick Update

2010-01-29T07:52:00.000-08:00

Caleb and I spent 3 weeks in the States over Christmas. It was wonderful to see family, especially my new little neice Lucy Olivia. We even made it to Seattle for a few days for Caleb's show at the Lawrimore Project http://www.lawrimoreproject.com/lp/Lawrimore_Project.html.

I had about 2 weeks back in Tulum before my current adventure - volunteering at Hogar Infantil in Chiapas.

Frosty's Getting a Tan

2009-12-13T09:57:00.000-08:00

I talked to my mom the other day and she mentioned the blizzard they were experiencing in southwest Michigan. My dad was out with the snow blower trying to keep ahead of the storm. That same day I went down to the beach and went for a refreshing swim before working on my tan and tackling some Spanish homework.

Is it really December? Christmas is just around the corner? With the two seasons here of really dang hot and pretty hot it feels like perpetual summer. Occasionally I get the feeling it might be late August or early September, but never does it feel like winter. My sense of time has become all garbled. With no regular schedule or seasons and living in a small town were much is the same day to day, it's a bit like Groundhog Day. A very pleasant one, but the same nonetheless. I never fully realized how much I rely on the seasons for my sense of time. I'm beginning to think that when Ponce de Leon went looking for the Fountain of Youth, all he really needed to do was spend enough time just living in a tropical environment where time stopped and counting age and time and days became pointless.

We are going back to Michigan on Friday. We may die of hypothermia. Tugboat has no fur on her belly, I have two pairs of pants and a cotton cardigan, Caleb's a little better off with a sweater, hoodie, and jeans. From summer to snowstorm. However, I'm really looking forward to time with my family, getting to know my new niece (who's due any day) and having a white Christmas. I've been singing Christmas songs in the shower and we may wrap our palm tree in free Christmas lights we just got from our neighbor. Tulum definitely get's excited about Christmas. There are decked out fake trees everywhere and children that come to your door, sing some kind of Christmas rap song, hold a huge poster of the Virgin and carry tin cans for your expected holiday donation.

Halloween

2009-10-29T23:25:00.001-07:00

Is it really October?

Flat Cookies, a Bike Pump's Gift and a Trip to Merida

2009-10-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my very hot kitchen sipping a cup of coffee, waiting for my oatmeal raisin cookies to bake. I found baking soda - you'll never guess where - at the pharmacy! They don't cook with it here, just clean with it, still that seems like an odd place. Anyway, having found both light brown sugar, and baking soda I'm feeling these cookies will be a culinary success.

They need to be tasty because I'm taking them to a get together tonight. There are a great group of women that are all friends that meet each Thursday night and drink wine and snack on fun foods and talk and laugh and sometimes dance all night long. I was out until 3am last week and the woman that I know the best has a 5 month old baby who slept through all of it. Even through the loud karaoke singing in Spanish and Portuguese to YouTube music videos. What a little trooper. I love that people bring their kids to everything here. Though when he gets older he probably won't be out that late! The women call themselves "The Subversive Women of Tulum". I'm not sure what that implies exactly and how they are subversive yet, but they seem to have a lot of fun. I spent most of the night very confused as to what was going on and what they were talking about since it was all in Spanish, but I occasionally I got the gist of the conversation. Normal girl stuff: Food, Boys, Babies, Work, Recycling...

Anyway, I just checked on the cookies and I think the temp must be off on my oven because they just look flat and melty, not done. Hmm..

Something really funny just happened....I heard a knock on the door and there was the neighbor kid from a few doors down who I know has a crush on me. He's always gazing at me all googly eyed and once took my hand for a few moments when I was confused about what he was saying. He looks like he's about 17...

Anyway, tonight he wanted to borrow our bike pump. When he returned it, all smiley, he handed me a small napkin of something. I said, "Gracias!", closed the door and examined my little gift. Sure enough, it was weed! Hahahaha! Now it's sitting next to my laptop still gently wrapped in the napkin. There's quite a bit of it. What do I do with this? I don't smoke, but nearly everyone here does... do I toss it or bring it to my ladies night? A moral dilemma. But a really funny one. Only in Mexico do you lend someone a pump and get weed in return!

So, tomorrow I'm taking myself on an adventure to Merida. Merida is the capital of the Yucatan state. It seems to be a delightful colonial town and the biggest city I will have been in for months. Also, this weekend are the Day of the Dead (Dias los Muertos) festivities. A totally strange holiday where alters are built for dead relatives and all kinds of offerings are laid on them, poems are sung, a lot of scull shaped candy is consumed by children... I guess it's really not that much stranger than Halloween.

Sunrise

2009-10-23T17:51:00.001-07:00

Sunset

2009-10-23T17:47:00.001-07:00

Fresh Chicken

2009-10-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

I bought a chicken yesterday that was so fresh it was still warm. Kind of fantastic and creepy. I ended up with 3 chicken feet as well, two attached to the bird and one random one. Also some organs I wasn't familiar with. Hmm. When I got home I had to saw it all apart with a very dull knife to make Coq au Vin. I did consider the machete from our back yard, but it too needs to be sharpened. I would have felt very Rambo-like slashing my way through warm bloody chicken thighs!

I had the most joyful afternoon cooking and singing along to Joni Mitchel at the top of my lungs. We had our first dinner guests. A couple, Sabrina and Diego and their little baby, Nicolas. They own a great little restaurant here called "Elemental", which Caleb and I frequent.

Lots of wine, a successful Coq au Vin, a little green salad, and coconut macaroons for dessert. We had a great time talking and laughing in the back yard and even little Nico seemed to enjoy himself camped out on our little couch, snoozing.

It felt really good having some friends over, feeding them and enjoying their company. Many of my favorite memories are of the times I've had a houseful of guests and cooked a huge meal, both in Seattle and in Providence.

Green Sea Turtle Adventure at Night

2009-09-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

Baby Sea Turtles from Marci Larsen on Vimeo.

I caught the last bus out to the Sian Ka'an a few weeks ago on a Sunday night, not sure what to expect, feeling a bit insecure, but excited to help with the baby sea turtle release.

It's the slow season at Cesiak right now so the staff of tour guides and boat captains are a bit more laid back at the end of their shift. They snack, smoke, drink a few (!) beers, and play a pretty aggressive game of dominos. The guys were all hanging out when I arrived, in great spirits, and made me feel immediately comfortable. I made the mistake of saying I play a mean game of dominos and of course I lost the first game - though I do have to say I was just getting warmed up and they have different rules than I'm used to! They bought me a few beers, I chatted with their girlfriends, and after a while the sun began to set and it was time to release the baby sea turtles.

We went down to the beach, while Alberto, the main turtle conservation worker, carefully brought out the halved gas container full of sand and baby turtles. A small crowd had gathered, children and parents, mainly tourists staying at Cesiak, and a handful of staff. A line was drawn in the sand and directions were given how to carefully hold the turtles and then place them in the sand to make their mad dash to the sea. We named them, cheered them one, fearfully watched for birds of prey and sighed in relief when the last turtle made it to the water. Then in a few seconds they were gone, having caught a current out to sea where they would be spending the next 25 or so years of their life before once again returning to the same beach to mate and lay their eggs. Such is the beginning of a sea turtle's life. Only one in a thousand baby sea turtles actually make it to adulthood, which is a staggeringly small number. Sea turtle conservation here is taken very seriously, the beaches are patrolled nightly for poachers and stranded turtles and obnoxious tourists, and much care is put into ensuring the peace and safety of the mature turtles that do make it back to these beaches to nest.

After the release, and another beer and some more hanging out, it was time to start the 8km round trip walk patrolling the beach. It was dark that night, cloudy, a few scattered stars and no moon. The soft, warm breeze was a welcoming relief to the heat of earlier that day. Alberto and I walked barefoot in the sand, talking barely above a whisper, scanning the beach for telltale marks of a turtle pulling itself over the sand. Soon we came upon our first nesting female. She was enormous. About 3 feet wide and 3 1/2 feet long, heavy, and focused. We sat a distance in the sand, occasionally feeling the spray of the sand she was flinging towards us from 20 feet away as she dug her nest and prepared to lay eggs. We cautiously walked back toward the water and continued down the beach. She would take at least an hour to finish her nesting.

We found a few freshly laid nests -big mounds of sand- and labeled them with the date and a nest number on a plastic bottle found among the trash on the beach. This bottle was buried into the top of the nest and a piece of driftwood was erected to mark the spot. We continued in this way for hours, occasionally spotting another nesting turtle and carefully measuring it, checking it's tags and writing the data in our little notebook. At one point we tried to help a female who was trying to climb up the dune over some tree roots, apparently to nest in the jungle. She kept slipping down, straining to get up the sharp incline, and eventually pulling herself over some sharp looking roots protruding like an arm from the side of the dune. She fell with a loud thud onto the sand and I winced imagining the impact on her. Alberto consoled me with the fact that sea turtles go through much tougher circumstances on the reefs and are hearty animals. We left her to figure things out, very aware of the effort involved of a water animal struggling to make sense of land.

A short while later we saw another great she-turtle nesting. This one successfully. Quietly, carefully, army style we crawled up to the back of her and with a tiny red light, were able to see her lay eggs. There are a few moments of pure wonder that stand out for me when I think of life/birth. Once I saw baby Alaskan huskies being born and that was pretty neat. But this blew me away. I was about 2 1/2 feet from her tail watching the gooey eggs drop by ones, twos and threes into the perfectly shaped 3 foot deep nest she had dug. Before each egg dropped I heard her inhale and then sigh as her efforts produced more eggs. She laid perhaps 100 or more. They were like soft white golf balls. Her hind fins were webbed and toe-like and had carefully dug that perfect hole without her ever even seeing it. I lay in the cool sand in awe. Huge and prehistoric, deserving of respect, from a whole other world. A sea turtle so vulnerable and intimate in that moment.

All this has made me contemplate our role as stewards of this earth - it's animals and resources. For the most part we are not doing a very good job. Rarely do we treat with respect, respond in awe and work to protect what we have been blessed with. Think on that.

The Sian Ka'an

2009-09-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

More of the Sian Ka'an

2009-09-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

I have so many photos of this place that I could start a blog just about the Sian Ka'an. Here are some pictures of the canal and floating through the mangroves. There's also a photo of the strip of land that Cesiak is located on. On the left you can see the lagoon and on the right the Caribbean.

Just a quick note, I got a call from the Pirate that I will be helping with the baby turtle release tonight. I'm thrilled and will give you an update soon. By the way, the Pirate is in a film ( To The Sea Alamar) being shown at the Toronto International Film Festival. Imagine him with a feather in his hair, a bone his ear and tusks in his nipples and that's pretty accurate. Also, the film was shot here - so what you see is my extended back yard! Ha.

I love the Sian Ka'an

2009-09-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

The Sian Ka'an Biosphere Reserve is one of the most amazing places I have ever been. If you follow the spit of land south out of Tulum along the beach road eventually you will be on the Reserve. On one side of the dirt road is the turquoise Caribbean and on the other side tangled mangroves and the jade green lagoons of the Sian Ka'an. The Reserve is enormous, covering over 1.3 million acres. Sian Ka'an means "where the sky is born" in Mayan. After spending a day in the lagoons I understand why. The sky does appear greater here. Perhaps it is the vast amount of crystal clear water reflecting the sky, perhaps it is that when you stand up in the boat taking you through the canals in the mangroves, you can see for miles.

My first in depth experience with the Reserve was through Cesiak. This organization runs a small ecotourism center and runs conservation and education programs about the Sain Ka'an. All the money from their tours goes straight back to the local community and protecting the Reserve.

My friend Elisa and I had been anticipating the Cesiak tour for weeks. Since this is the slow season for tourism we were the only ones on the tour. We were picked up in town in a bus along with our tour guide, Antonio, and a bird specialist that most refer to as "La Pirata" - the Pirate. Imagine Jack Sparrow from "Pirates of the Caribbean" if he was Mayan, tan, and had small boar's tusks as nipple piercings. You get the idea. These two men were our educators for the day, though most of our time was spent with Antonio - who's our age and passionate and knowledgeable about the Reserve. We spent spent about equal time learning about the Sian Ka'an as we did counseling him about his relationship troubles. Needless to say we enjoyed ourselves and felt very comfortable with him!

The van dropped us off at the arched entrance to the Sian Ka'an. We immediately followed a short path through the jungle to a cenote. Cenotes are fresh water caverns that supply all the water here in the Yucatan Peninsula. When it rains the water is filtered through the limestone foundation of this peninsula and collected in a vast underground system of tunnels and caverns. Eventually this water if further filtered by the mangroves and mixes with the Caribbean sea. The nutrient that this fresh water collects on it's passage to the sea is essential for the health of the Mesoamerican Reef. It is so amazing to learn about the interconnectedness of the ecosystem. I've never fully appreciated it until now.

We refreshed ourselves with a swim in the cool waters of the cenote for ten minutes or so before heading to our small motor boat docked on the lagoon. Elisa and I and our guide Antonio, along with our very capable boat driver began our tour of the canals of the Sian Ka'an. These canals that wind through the mangroves, frequently not much wider than our boat, were the ancient trading routes of the Mayans. These canals lead from the jungle to the sea and many a boatful of jade, obsidian, cocoa beans and salt made it's way through these waters to far off worlds.

With that in mind and our boat precariously navigating the snakelike channels surrounded by mangroves as far as the eye can see, we searched the treetops for birds. There are over 336 known bird species in this area and the air is full of their sounds. It was tremendously peaceful to feel the warm breeze in our faces and rest our eyes on the beauty around us. Nearly halfway though our tour, we stopped at an ancient Mayan ruin. After a bit of exploration we jumped into the clear water of our canal and sitting on life vests we began to gently float down the current. Our motor boat had preceded us and was waiting much further down. This was my favorite part of the whole experience. Imagine being at water level with the twisted roots of the mangroves, seeing the life all around you, the delicate birds nests, the yellow leaves in the jade colored water, the rich mineral smell of the air, the cacti and flowers growing out of their host plants, the mangroves. It was quiet.

We floated like this for at least half an hour. I didn't want it to end. When we reached our boat we still had about an hour left of touring the lagoon. We headed out to the wide open waters, the waters that meet with the sea. The blues and greens that converge at the tip of this estuary are breath taking. Since being in Mexico my appreciation of color has intensified. It's as if I've always had a foggy lens and now I can actually see.

On our way back to the Cesiak base we saw a crocodile! Antonio had been talking about crocodiles a lot, which was not much of a comfort considering Elisa had dreamt the night before about a bloody croc attack and we had just been leisurely floating in that water! Granted, the canal that we had floated down had been used by Cesiak for the past ten years with no crocodile incidents, but still.... I was glad that I had been in the water before I saw that croc, not after! He was big.

At the Cesiak center we were treated to a delicious dinner of fresh fish with garlic, rice, beans, and tortillas. It was so delicious. After dinner a quick swim in the sea and then we climbed to the top terrace of the building for a spectacular sunset. Cesiak is on the narrow strip of land between the lagoon and the sea. The view is magnificent. It is surreal watching the sun set over the lagoon and the Caribbean behind you painted pink with it's refection.

Full, content, and rosy from an amazing day, we headed back to town. I am now deeply in awe and in love with this place. I hope to be volunteering with Cesiak soon and helping the Pirata with turtle conservation and the native plant nursery.

Coba

2009-09-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

If you take the second class bus to Coba at 7:10am, you may have to spend the 45 minute trip standing, swaying, nodding off and being the only tourist on the crowded bus full of locals. However, this is definitely the best time to go to the Coba ruins. When we arrived, the parking lot was empty and we were one of the first visitors to the site that morning. It was still moderately cool (high 70s) and peaceful. Caleb's sister Michaela and I ate our little picnic breakfast at the base of the first temple pyramid.

Coba was once a large Mayan civilization with over 50,000 inhabitants. Most of the site dates back to 400-1100AD. It's impossible to comprehend age like that. To view these amazing ruins surrounded by jungle and have their age actually sink in is very hard. I found it fascinating that these ruins were not open to the public until 1973 and that most of it's 6,000 structures are still coverd under centuries of jungle growth. There were no roads to this place until the early '70s. The current town of Coba didn't get electricity until the 1980's!

We rented bikes for 30 pesos and began to explore. It's a really lovely, slightly bumpy ride on wide jungle paths. Birds were singing and the air smelled rich. There are many great ruins to explore, but the one that blew us away and nearly made us catch our breath Nohoch Mul. It is a 140ft temple pyramid whose presence dwarfs everything else in it's surroundings. Rising out of the jungle like some great tower of Babel, this pyramid alone was worth the trip. And here is the most astounding thing - you can still climb this pyramid! It is trecherously steep, a bit crumbling and the only thing to grab in case you stumble is a two inch wide rope that hangs from the top and is draped to the bottom. Like climbing a huge set of stairs, we made it to the very top and Oh! what a view! We could see across the jungle for miles. And for miles all we could see was jungle. Green, and dense and stunning. A tiny indent in the trees indicated the town of Coba, but other than that, there were no other buildings, roads, or civlization in sight. It made me think about what this land was like, Pre-Colonial times, when it was just the Mayans and the jungle.

Michaela and I sat for a long time up there, at the top of the world, watching eagles soar around us. When we finally headed down the very steep steps, hoards of tourists on bikes and in pedicabs were flooding in. We visited a few more ruins and headed out as more busloads of tourist were unloading. I must say, we had the perfect experience at Coba. We got there early, avoided the crowds and the heat and had the place mostly to ourselves. We patted ourselves on the back for a job well done and then headed to a tiny restaurant for some grilled chicken.

The restaurant was no more than three plastic tables and chairs in a cement block porch. The mouthwatering smell of chicken cooking on their grill next to the road, stopped us in our tracks and drew us inside. We ordered, a little unsure of what we would get, but when our food arrived we were delighted. We each had half of a grilled and marinated chicken, beans, rice, cabbage and carrot salad, salsa and tortillas. Quite the feast. The tortilla factory was not more than ten feet away and our server, the owner, went over and bought us steaming hot, fresh tortillas.
I watched a very old Mayan woman with a bucket of maize, go into the tortilleria, dump the bucket into a grinder and scoop out armfuls of cornmeal dough.

A Meal at Home

2009-09-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

The result of my successful shopping trip was a simple, home cooked meal. I made a mixed green salad and pasta in a red sauce with zucchini, capers, anchovies and basil. I even baked a cake. This was an adventure in and of itself.

I bought what I hoped was baking powder, flour (which smelled strangely sweet), and what I hoped was plain unsalted butter. The only cake pan in the store was about half the size of what I was looking for, but it was cute with scalloped edges, so I bought it. I chose an easy peach cake recipe and made it with canned peaches. I mixed all the ingredients in a soup pot since I don't have a mixing bowl yet and stirred everything in with a fork. Easy enough.

I'm very grateful for the Internet since it not only provided me with a cake recipe, but also converted Fahrenheit to Celsius so that I could figure out what to set the oven on.

Well the cake turned out fine. Not amazing, but considering most people here use their ovens as extra storage, I felt just using it was a success. The next day I made a tasty Seville orange sauce to go with the remaining two pieces. Believe me, if we didn't have airconditioning I would also only be using my oven as storage!

I had bought a cheap bottle of wine to celebrate my minor culinary success. Caleb and I sat down in front of the monitor to watch "Redeye", pasta bowls in hand, the smell of cake in the air, and it felt so good and routine, and right. Tradition. An evening at home, and that could be anywhere, with a glass of wine, dinner and a movie.

Touche, Kathleen Walker!

2009-09-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

A little while ago my friend Kathleen posted this gorgeous picture of the fresh produce she picked up at the farmer's market in San Francisco. It made me salivate and and a wee bit jealous. See, it's been a bit of a challenge cooking here in Tulum.

I love Mexican food. It goes without saying that the ingredients at the grocery stores and markets here are full of anything you may need to make great Mexican food. However, we've been eating out a lot. And why wouldn't we since we can buy the worlds best tamales from Angelo at the Oxxo station for less than $1 a piece. His chicken and green salsa tamalitos are to die for. The same goes for Angela's sopes, Urge Taqueria's mixto ceviche, and Charlie's enchiladas poblanos. So, why would I cook Mexican food when everybody makes it so much better than me?

Now, if you want to make something other than Mexican food, it's a bit of a challenge. Not only are there large bags of mystery spices and piles of unknown herbs and produce to navigate, most things are unlabeled. Even armed with my trusty pocket dictionary, and grabbing every bag and shoving it in my face for a good whiff, many items are unidentifiable. What I can identify is black pepper, ground oregano, chile powder, cinnamon, and cloves. That is the primary spice selection at our local store. So along with the 95 degree heat and the bicycling from store to store to find basics like a real loaf of crusty bread, fruit and veggies, cheese and meat, I've been feeling rather uninspired to cook.

Hence, I've still been feeling like a tourist and not like I actually live here. We usually eat breakfast and lunch at home, but there is something so homey and grounding and downright domestic about cooking dinner.

I had a breakthrough the other day. I learned from Lorena at the Italian bakery that there is a store called Frutas Y Verduras Pool. They have actual fresh arugula and basil!!! Granted you have to know it's in the back and ask for it (which was an adventure in pantomime and trial and error). However, my creative juices started flowing, and I spent a good long time looking at every bag of dried hibiscus flowers, mystery spices, coconut milk, olive oil, and root vegetables and thinking about actually cooking.

Here's what I ended up with: Arugula, basil, chayote, zucchini, red pepper, local avocado, a carrot, cucumber, big bananas, and tiny cute ones, penne pasta, capers, anchovies, a can of tomatoes, oolong tea (the first black tea I've seen!), real tasty wheat bread from the Italian bakery, a croissant!!!, and to top it all off, fancy food for Tugboat because I finally found the one and only bona fide vet.

This may seem like a totally normal and average shopping list, but to me it's the beginning of really living here and being able to cook.

Nescafe

2009-09-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have a guilty confession. I love Nescafe. I know, I know! Enjoying a cup of instant coffee isn't such a big deal, but I'm a professed coffee snob. Working three years at a really great coffee shop in Seattle, working as a barista, snubbing those Starbucks lovers..... we'll next to our organic, fair trade coffee is a jar of Nescafe. And that's what I drank this morning. Two cups actually.

There's just something so delightfully simple about a spoonful of little coffee crystals melting into my microwaved hot water.... okay, I'm a coffee hypocrite, I'll admit it.

Around Town

2009-08-31T15:37:00.001-07:00

Here are a few pictures I took the other day just walking around Tulum pueblo. The fruit stand is where I get all my produce and it always smells like decaying fruit. Sort of a sweet, intense smell. There are birds in cages that hang above the produce and a little family of small, fluffy white dogs that wander about underfoot. I think it's great.

This Morning

2009-08-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

I finally pulled my tired rear out of bed this morning at 6:30am. I've been saying for weeks that we should ride our bikes down to the beach in the morning before it gets hot and full of people. With all the corn tortillas, guac and chips, sugary drinks, etc I'm getting a bit soft around the edges. In a land where I wear my bathing suit more than underwear, that's a problem.

So I actually got up, grabbed some water and a snack and rode the 3+km to the beach. I went for a run along the water. It was just me and the silvery blue water and the gigantic clouds. I could see it was raining in the distance. The air was cool and fresh so early in the morning. Little white and black birds were picking through seaweed looking for breakfast. Matthew McConaughey flashed through my mind for a moment. You always see pictures of him working out on the beach in Maui. Going for his morning run, wearing that ridiculous headband.... Now, I don't care much for McConaughey, but I did take pleasure in thinking that even he probably didn't have quite the pristine and perfect beach work out that I experienced this morning. I'm referring to the setting more so than my physical capabilities.

I ran, did some crunches, some push ups, ran some more, then went for a swim. Just to make this as over the top as possible, as I was floating in the water gazing at the sky, I saw a rainbow. I spent a long time this morning thinking about how good God is, how majestic and spectacular is His creation, and wondering if Paradise looked something like this. I just felt so deeply grateful and wholly undeserving. I still can't believe I'm here.

Man-chete

2009-08-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

To be a real man in the jungle you must own a machete. I know this both from watching "Romance in the Stone" and seeing the men here use machetes for everything from clearing land, building fences and screen doors, to opening difficult fruit. It's a manly Protector/Provider must have. Therefore, we bought a machete for Caleb.

His first conquest was of a very difficult coconut. I have to say there is something visually very appealing too - of your man, shirtless with a dangerous looking knife, hacking away at the hull of a coconut until he can rip the husk away and reveal that sweet tasty white flesh and nectar...which he proudly presents to you (with a straw!).

The Tulum Ruins

2009-08-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

The morning that Michaela and I set out to view the Tulum ruins was stormy and grey. Rain fell in dramatic bursts, drenching everything it touched. The wind whipped the palm trees around, their green leaves dancing in the air, bending and waving like so many sharp fingers. We pressed on up the dirt road leading to the site where the ancient walled city stood. Tulum played an important role in the Mayan's extensive trade network. Dating back to 564 A.D., this city overlooking the Caribbean, was where the land routes and sea trade routes converged. It is unique in that it is one of the few walled cities the Mayas built. It's primary structure, "Castillo" is stunningly situated on the tip of the bluffs overlooking the sea.

As we wandered the ruins in the rain, Michaela and I marveled at the tiny doorways, lovely meandering paths and dramatic vistas of the ruins against the dark sky. It's hard to imagine the grand city it must have been, bustling with small, fiercely proud people doing trade with the rest of Mexico and Central America. It was such a complex culture and they observed so much about the world around them. They are known as the only civilization on the pre-Colombian Americas to have a fully developed written language. They are known for their sophistication in art, mathematics, architecture and astronomy. The more I read about them the more fascinated I become. They also did human sacrifice....but that's not one of their more admirable accomplishments!

At the bottom of the bluff that the Castillo is perched on is a little beach. The sun was just beginning to pierce though the clouds as we headed down for a dip in the water. The sea was an irresistible shade of jade. It is so different seeing pictures of this color than being surrounded by it. Swimming in a gem, seeing it sparkle and change color ever so subtly - being saturated in it and seeing the deep, dark, sky above is unbelievable. It satisfies a visual hunger.

El Mariachi Restaurant

2009-08-25T10:21:00.001-07:00

This is the first restaurant that Caleb and I ate at in Tulum and still remains one of our favorite. Like most restaurants here, it is entirely outdoors, including the kitchen and serves a very good Alambre. This dish is a wonderful combination of beef, onions, cactus, and bacon, all grilled with a hot layer of cheese on top. It is served with a side of corn tortillas (of course), limes, and salsa picante. It is delicious!

We took Caleb's sister Michaela here one night and had a very relaxed dinner.

Busy, busy, busy

2009-08-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to catch you up on. The Tulum ruins, Coba, our attempt to go out to a DJ "Wrestle", very bad Flamenco dancing, and then tomorrow the Sian Kaan biosphere reserves. Caleb's sister has been visiting and now we are cleaning the apartment getting ready for his folks. It's going to be very tight here for a bit. My guts are tied up in a bit of a knot - I think it's just all this heavy food we've been eating. Don't get me wrong, the food is great, but just a different diet then I'm used to.

Also a few days ago, I nearly killed my laptop. That would possibly have been the end of this blog - at least for a while. I spilled a bottle of water onto the keyboard. If anyone out there is drinking a beverage while they are reading this, please take a moment and move it far, far away. The screen went blank and I didn't have a computer for a long, tearful while. The hairdryer set on cool dried things out a bit. Honestly I know it was a miracle that this thing works again. I am a fool, but God is merciful. This is a lesson I learn over and over again.

So, when things settle down a bit and we're not trying to pack it all in, I'll post pictures and a detailed account of all our adventures. I promise.

The Reef, Turtles, and Salsa Dancing

2009-08-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was like no other. Caleb's sister, Michaela is visiting us and we had waited until she arrived before going out snorkeling on the the Great Mayan Reef which is the second biggest coral reef in the world.

We we're in a small group of six as we headed out bouncing across the water in our little motor boat. The faster we went the more excited I got and loved every minute of salty wind and ocean spray. When we stopped the boat out on the reef and got ourselves ready to snorkel, my heart was racing... I'd never been out on open water like this before. I didn't know what creatures lived in the waters around me and everything just seemed so deep and mysterious. As soon as my mask was on and I'd gotten a bit used to the flippers, I looked below me into the coral. And that's all it took, that first look, and now I'm hooked.

We spent an hour and a half swimming and looking on our own. I swam into purple and soft green and brown gardens of seaweed and coral and lovely little fish. Yellow, red, blue, purple, orange... so many fishes so many colors. Some were bigger and some so small I didn't realize they were fish until I stared at the same spot for minutes. They dove in and out of the coral which looked like beautiful lace billowing in the current. I saw very sharp looking black sea urchins and florescent little spotted fish trying to hide. Michaela saw a sea turtle and Caleb saw a fairly large barracuda. Some of the other passengers saw calamari and a spotted stingray. It was a pretty amazing place. You may be imagining tranquil waters and floating gently around looking a sea life, however, the current was strong and waves were crashing above us. There were times where you really had to struggle not to get tossed about and knocked into the reef. I found it enthralling and quite the rush.

On our way back to shore we befriended a guy named Miguel who works for the marine reserve at Sian Kaan National Park. He had snorkeled for free since he had been a reef guide and knew all the guys. Miguel was full of useful information on local attractions. Since there is so much to see and do here, it is helpful to have someone guide you. He suggested we go see the turtles in Akumal, just a short drive north of Tulum. There are hawksbill, green, and loggerhead turtles in the area.

We had rented a car for a few days and wanted to make the most of it. On our way back toward town we saw Miguel hitchhiking and offered to give him a lift. He was and is such a nice guy that we invited him along on our sea turtle adventure. He blew off his plans to go rock climbing for the day and became our private tour guide. We stopped at a lovely little restaurant right on the beach in Akumal and had lunch. The food was great and the view spectacular. It's a good feeling to eat a tasty meal with your feet happily in the sand.

After lunch we meandered over to the public beach. It being Sunday, the beach was packed. Sunday is family day here (as it should be!) and the best place to be was the playa. We were a bit dubious as to the existence of sea turtles with so many people about, but having trust in Miguel's promise that we would indeed, see a turtle, we swam out to the seaweed beds, faces in the water searching for that big shadow or a slight movement.

Miguel was the first to spot her. She was huge and graceful and oh, so lovely! Munching on seaweed below us she seemed so serene and only mildly curious of our company. Then she swam up for air and we could see how wonderfully this creature moves through water. Her head was at the surface for just an instant, just long enough to gasp for air and then down again to feed. At one point she swam very near Miguel, staring at him, as he remained motionless waiting to see what she would do. She merely circled him and gave him a long look, then settled back into the sea grass. It's a surreal experience being that close to a prehistoric looking creature much older than yourself and on their turf.

We spent a long time searching for turtles and watching them feed. I believe we counted six. On the way back to shore I swam through a school of fish and nearly turned back to follow them. The beaches here all have sectioned off bits where the turtles have laid their eggs. It's nesting season until September. Each night, the turtles come ashore and lay their eggs. I heard that only about one in every thousand baby turtles makes it to adulthood. There are many natural predators, they've often been hunted for food, and their habitat is constantly being encroached upon. There are some strong efforts here to protect these animals.

On our drive back to Tulum we continued visiting with Miguel and found out he's a Christian. We were thrilled. He had been so generous in sharing his whole day with us and had such a kind and gentle spirit. In retrospect, it all made sense. Caleb and I plan on attending church with him one of these days.

Our day wasn't over yet, and we had promised Michaela salsa dancing on the beach. So, we rushed home, got cleaned up and drove over to La Zebra. On first glance the salsa class (prelude to the evening dancing) looked like the making of a bad aerobics instruction video shot on the beach. A small, odd mix of people were shuffling around on a little wooden platform to the instructor's enthusiastic directions which he yelled into his headset. Half English, half Spanish. The instructor (who, we were told had won many competitions) was twisting and turning and prancing around while the rest of us felt like a bunch of lost goslings. Micheala did the best of all of us - she can just dance. I fumbled around and when I got too confused just threw in a few extra twirls and foot taps. Caleb, oh, sweet, tall, lanky, awkward husband of mine! He was so funny, flapping around, very confused and head and shoulders above everyone else. That he was out there at all learning to dance with us was a testimony to his love.

La Zebra was recommended to me by my new friend, Faby. Faby is teaching me Spanish and I'm helping her with her English. It's not only a good trade, but I think we are becoming close friends as well. She is a great dancer. After the somewhat painful dance lessons, a good sized salsa band set up and we grabbed some very tasty Mojitos. It was the first time I had been on the beach at night and the stars were spectacular. It was like staring into the Milky Way.

As the night wore on more and more people showed up and the dancing began. There were many awkward dancers like us, but several outstanding dancers as well. Michaela was so pleased to dance with the best man out there. She looked like a pro following his strong lead and loving every minute of it. We dance the Salsa and the Merengue with the cool sea breeze swishing our skirts and giving us tousled, wild hair. The band was fantastic and we hated to leave. Next Sunday night we will be back at La Zebra for more lessons and fun.

My Friend the Iguana

2009-08-13T15:43:00.000-07:00

The iguanas, lizards, and ghekos here are so fascinating. This big guy is about the length of my forearm. They are everywhere. Today I met an iguana named Charlie that almost let me catch him. When I went out this afternoon there was a bright green lizard perched on my bike seat. Just looking at me. Checking things out. I want them to be my friends.

Coco Baby

2009-08-13T15:40:00.001-07:00

I just found out the other day that my brother is having a girl! Yaaaay. She's due in December. This is me pretending to have a coconut baby.

Lookin' Real Good

2009-08-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

Euphoria

2009-08-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

Aqua Azul

2009-08-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

Snorkeling With My Alien Face

2009-08-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

CM and I are trying to snorkel. I'm not very good yet. My mask keeps fogging up and if I smile then water leaks in. However, the other day we were playing around and saw some very big conch shells about 9 feet deep. I wanted one so much! Caleb dove, dove agian, got weirded out by a possible movement of something alive, dove again, dropped it, and then finally one last time he appeared out of the water with the biggest, heaviest conch shell ever. I'm just thrilled. I feel like he dove for treasure for me. The shell is lovely and pink on the inside and covered in fuzzy seaweed and sea stuff on the outside. I'm grateful that nothing was living in it.

Sweet Things and a Drippy Fridge

2009-08-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

I just got done eating way too many fruit popsicles over the sink. Juice dripping from my chin, head starting to ache from brain freeze....sugar ants around my sink going hog wild. Mango, Coconut, Mystery Pop - I think one of my popsicles had a grain in it. Maybe barley. It fell in big globs off the stick and into the sink.
I had to defrost the freezer because it got all crazy and decided to make snowdrifts. I may have too much in the fridge (according to Caleb), however, it doesn't seem unreasonable to store a few meals worth of food in there. We even keep our dry goods in there, just to avoid the interest of critters. Also, fridges are just not as cold here. Even at the highest temp. setting everything is just cool, not cold.
So, I dumped a pile of water on my feet and all over the food in the fridge before successfully dumping the drain tray in the sink. For some reason, I felt responsible to eat all the popsicles since they were melting, knowing that the frozen vegetables would be fine, as would the tiny bottle of vodka, and the ice cubes were not a great loss.
I had purchased these delightful ice treats two days before from the popsicle man going down our street. One thing that is amazing here is that you truly never have to leave your house - everything is brought to you. Ice cream, popsicles, watermelons, tortillas, tamales, water, bread, furniture, mattresses, knife sharpening, and a shoe cobbler. All wandering, pedaling, or driving down our street at various times of day and night, yelling or honking, or singing, or blowing a whistle, or ringing a chime. They all have their own sounds and Caleb and I have enjoyed playing the guessing game and then running to the window to check who's right. I have to say the strangest thing is probably the furniture/mattress truck. Who spontaneously buys a twin bed and a dresser?
Anyway, because I had bought these popsicles from a hard working street vendor pushing his little cart in the hot sun one afternoon, I felt guilty throwing them out. He works hard to bring me sweet delicious things. Plus I paid for them. So now, after sugar shock and a bit of a headache, I guess I can say, I've done my duty.

Huaya

2009-08-09T15:34:00.000-07:00

I found out what that funny fruit is. I asked a local today who spoke a splash of English and made him write it down for me. It has many names...depending on where you come from. Here's the wiki entry. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamoncillo

What is This Fruit?

2009-08-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

I bought this yesterday from a couple of hombres selling fruit on the street. I'm sure he told me what it was in Spanish, but I can not for the life of me find out what it is! I've googled every possible term to no avail. It is small and green, with a large pit on the inside. There is very little fruit on it and what fruit there is is soft, light pink and sweet/sour. If any one has any idea, I would appreciate it! Oh, and the fruit man gave me a bag of chile spiced salt to eat it with.

A Very Full Day

2009-08-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day on my own. Caleb's back at work, so now it's up to me to fill my days. This may end up being more daunting than it sounds, especially since I don't speak Spanish or know anyone yet. Still, if yesterday was any indication, I think I'm going to be just fine.

I made a list of things to find and accomplish first thing in the morning, so I had a plan for the day. First on that list was to find the nearest laundry mat. I went to the corner store and with a dictionary and some pretty silly pantomime and a map, I managed to find out that the nearest laundry is not very close. That's what I feared. Loading up my bike with my dirty sheets and towels and biking to town in 95 degree weather is doable but not ideal. While I was "talking" to the cashier, a young woman came in and spoke a bit of English, so she started translating for me. And here's the amazing thing. Through her I found a woman two blocks from my house who has a washing machine and will do our laundry for 10 pesos a kilo. That's about $0.77 for 2.2lbs. And I don't think I'm ripping her off either. For what I've seen that's pretty much the going rate here. I'm still going to do some our clothes in the sink, but this is great for our bulkier items. Also, she has a one day turnaround. I'm so grateful.
The woman that I met in the store and who was so helpful is Faby, and she and I are going to get together regularly and swap English/Spanish lessons. So this was not a bad start to my day! I had only been out and about for 20 minutes.

Back on my bike again and peddling to town, I found a great little shop that sells fanciful stuffed animals, hand-sewn, colorful, and with a delightful sense of humor. I learned later that these toys are all over town. I wish I could make something this cute. Really. And it got me thinking. Stores in the U.S. would love these Mayan made children's stuffed animals. Maybe I could start selling them. Let me know what you think. I'll post a few pictures and maybe create a temporary web page for them. So now my creative juices are flowing and I'm feeling more excited about being here.

While in town (pueblo) I successfully figured out our Mexican cell phone chip problems, had my first aqua fresca (like lemonade) , faxed our sublease agreement (after stopping at 3 different places), found a great fruit and vegetable stand, and got homemade tortillas that were still warm from the tortilla factory. All in all pretty good.

I saved the fish and cheese shop for another day, since I have plenty of time to get to know this place.

One thing that I should mention. Caleb and I have never been to a place where we've been so conscientious of the fact that we are privileged and wealthy by comparison. Here, many people have very, very little. We've walked the outskirts of town and most people live very humbly. I have seen mothers standing in the doorways of crumbled down buildings, hovels really, their children playing soccer in the street. People live in shacks. I don't know what the sanitation conditions are like. Walking by all I've seen inside are plastic chairs, buckets and hammocks. Still, people smile at you and say, "hola" if you smile at them and initiate. I'm trying to be sensitive to this culture since I am the outsider. I have yet to meet an unkind person here. I'm sure they exist, but coming from Rhode Island that's saying a lot. R.I. is not known for it's politeness. Ha. Caleb commented on the fact that even though there is so much poverty here you don't see anyone begging. Everyone is trying to provide a service and they all work extremely hard.

When I got home from the pueblo I did my Rosetta Stone Spanish lesson. It seems like a great program so far. I think Caleb has a better memory and I have better pronunciation. Together we may actually be able to communicate.

We had dinner at "Charlie's". It reminds me of a Cuban club in movies from the 1940's. There were round colorful tiled tables outside in this lovely little courtyard, with palm trees and flowers and very polite waiters. The food was delicious. "Charlie's" has a stage and a little band was playing salsa and flamenco music. The harpist and bongo player were amazing. A young, cute American couple were on their honeymoon and trying to dance. It was so sweet and silly I had tears rolling down my cheeks. They danced the night away, rather tipsy, trying to learn how to salsa, and totally in love...that young, new, sweet love with lots of spontaneous kisses and laughter. It was a good reminder for Caleb and I to enjoy being young and in love and maybe act a little less responsibly (that was Caleb's hint to me anyway!). We've determined I either act like I'm an old lady or like I'm somewhere between 4 and 8yrs old.

Well I'm off to pick up my laundry and learn some Spanish. Caleb and I are going to the beach after he gets off of work. There's been lots of thunder lately and it sounds like God's moving furniture in heaven. I think it's going to rain today.

Our Place

2009-08-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize that some of you think we actually live on the beach. Whereas that would be amazing, we actually live in a neighborhood east of town called Villas Tulum. It is a newly developing area and not super full yet. However there is a nice mix of locals and expats. We have two taquerias within a three minute walk and several small convenience stores. The neighborhood is up and coming and I think will get pretty full over the next couple of years as more foreigners buy summer homes here. Thank God, that is not the primary vibe now and it is still very much Mexico.

So here's our street and our little villa. We think it's great.

Pictures of Paradise

2009-08-06T09:34:00.001-07:00